I don’t exactly know how well to face all this? I just can’t seem to face the reality and accept the fucking facts which life offers every time like a slap on my face. Wish life wouldn’t have allowed me to perceive so much. Strange but so true and I can’t seem to face all of it right now and I haven’t felt like this ever and now more than ever seem the right time to enjoy the coldness which life’s enemy has to offer. And what’s worse, life was so easy before and now everything seems to conspire against me and I still have the guts to face life though inwardly I know I will give up pretty soon. Shit.
Today Nature Boy was present and so got to see him but now he isn’t that attractive anymore. And Shilly-Shally looks better than what I had supposed him to be. Today he did turn back but because of my stupid cold I couldn’t talk with him and all through the day I didn’t get to see him at all. Though Nature Boy did make up for all of it. ;-) And then there was a D n J dude whose eyes were not at all visible and we had a good laugh at him and suddenly I was reminded that maybe others laugh at us too. But then moving on…
Had a bad sneezing spell and today the witch was talking to me, which I didn’t enjoy at all. The classes got on to my nerves today and I felt actually like “jumping out of the window.” But the best part was the morning when Rats and Meow were together and others were staring at them when both of them were having a good time together. ;-)
Some thoughts do obviously scare me a lot and I try to avoid them but can never do so. You say you love me but how do I know that love for you is no game when you are so very good at lying and playing games with hearts and I have seen that a hell lot of times? Why should I trust you when you say you will make me a princess when I know that the others won’t allow you to and you would abide by what they have to say and not me? So what should I do and where do I go?
The papers say blogging is a good stress-buster but hell it reminds me of all the things I would not have thought of. I can’t type any more of it and end with a small poem which I was looking for Hugh Jackman, but since I don’t exactly know the guy in person nor does he knows about me so the lines go out for all those people out there for whom I can die and live my life a thousand times.
“If I go away
What would still remain of me?
The ghost within your eyes?
The whisper in your sighs?
You see...Believe
And I'm always there.”
~ by Jon Oliva ~
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