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Silence seems so impractical at times. But then one must get used to it since words seem so futile and hold no importance for the mortals anymore. I love to dance around but these days life seems too difficult and pretentious at the same time that without my Guardian Angel I seem so weak. The bees around me do buzz but only when there is an absolute necessity and mostly for their own purposes. Even I am so selfish that I cannot stand my bees not buzzing onto me and switching off entirely when I need them the most. I know that not all the bees are the same neither would I like to pass my judgments onto them as I love them all and this is for true. But their silence kills me inside and I know not how to make them all buzz to me, to look at me and maybe smile, if not them at least flip their wings for once so that I know that they are there with me. But then maybe I expect a lot out of them all. I should not forget the fact that the bees have a life of their own and if they are inactive towards me then they might just be active for some one else. So I should be content to know the fact that they will at least be responding to some one and be happy with that very someone. I know I am no chief of theirs to be always responded back to everyday but it would have just been nice. There again go my selfish motives when I want the bees just to satisfy my need of someone. But there have been numerous numbers of times when I have entirely given up on myself just to be with the bees for which I have been shouted and yelled at but then I love my bees a lot. I realize the fact that life definitely would have been far better had I had my own ways but that would not had been real. Though things are a lot different now and the only thing which is static these days is change. Indeed Jimmy Porter was surrounded by his bees that did love him and use him but then just to kill him with their silences.

Stupidest lines I might have ever written but then I mean what I mostly write. By the way the promise to crown me the Princess continues and the claim that soon I might just be the Queen seems endless. I don’t really know whether any of it will ever come true but then life has not stopped for anyone of us and everyone has a role to play in the big game where there cannot be any blame for anyone. Some things in life need no justification and so we try and move on with whatever less or more we have. The rhythms of life continue to play whether it is the songs by Hemmish or by Kishore Da it will never stop playing its tunes.

And what more I, out of all, was thinking of writing a story. Had the God listened to my secret wish He would have been, “whoa man”. Hehehe. it’s not an easy job to write a story and interweave emotions into it but then it was just a thought and maybe some day I will write such stories which I would be able to share with the people in general (most of my stories are way to personal). As for the Attractive Young Woman, I guess I should stop interfering with her life and give her space enough to grow stronger by the day. My intentions might always be good but how can I not look at my actions which preceded my intentions and which could have actually hurt the Young Woman. So I try and stay aloof from too many people at the same time. I know Jim says that I have badly complicated my own life and now I realize it that one shouldn’t be so good to everyone as others start to take me for granted and I hate being treated like a piece of nothing.

Everyone pretends to be good and nice when I know nothing is at all going right. She won’t say anything about her dance school nor would he ever say that he’s high on fire. The other she will continue to be the old frustrated herself which actually she is not but then other she is definitely frustrated. As for the last of the she’s, she cannot say a word to anyone as people misinterpret her but then she herself is stupid enough not to realize her age-old mistakes and continues to carry on with them.

College is full of fun and masti these days. It is the old election time and the same old politics stuff which is back in action. But who am I to blame others to play politics just to come to power. Some how it is all justified. And as for the other things in college, soon our early offs will no more be on and I don’t want to even think about it but then it is all inevitable. Boo hoo. :-(

Too much said and done now my fingers pain as I cannot type any of the nonsense anymore.