This story is only and only about me. So I believe others should not feel offended by the things I have perceived over the years. Well on second thoughts, how many of them will read this to even go ahead and analyze my thoughts. Even though my story begins the moment I was born but I will skip quite a number of years of my life and go ahead only with those years of my life which will show how hopelessly romantic I am and can be.
I was never an avid reader. I was not introduced to books for quite a considerable period of my life. Even though I had read hindi comics and a few English children books here and there, I truly cannot recall any such book which might have triggered my being such a romantic. However TV was an important part of my life. I remember watching TV from the very early days of my life. Cartoons, hindi movies, serials have always been like a daily dose of entertainment for me. Watching the wonderful world of fiction had always attracted me and kept me wondering if life too could be so beautiful and magical.
The innocence of Pingo, the adventurous nature of Mogwli, the naughty nephews of Uncle Scrooge, the cute gummy bears, the courageous yet stupid LaunchPad, the pretty Daisy Duck in love with Donald Duck and the happy couple of Mickey and Minnie Mouse with their pet dog Pluto. Wow!!! Those were some days to reckon with. I wish I too was a comic character running around with them in all the adventures and laughing with them. Disney was an important part of my life back then. The magical carpet, Genie and Aladin’s friendship and the beautiful princess Jasmine, each one of them made me feel like a part of their lives. Then came the era of Cartoon Network with Scooby Doo, Noddy, Dexter, Johnny Bravo, Popeye, and more and more characters.
Life was so beautiful and colorful indeed. The stupid hindi films also added to it where love stories came to a happy ending and with all the singing and dancing around the trees made me wonder if real life romance too would be this good.
As I became a teenager this new rage of being in love, roaming around with a boyfriend became like this thing everyone was craving for. English songs were a privilege now. I changed schools but it was only in class 11 that I was introduced properly to books and to English movies, being the true force behind making me an actively hopeless romantic. Books brought another world in front of my eyes when cartoons didn’t hold any more importance in my life. Life was so unreal back then. Looking back at those days make me wonder whether I actually was like that. But I enjoyed every moment of my life back then. There were good and bad days yet I held this feeling very close to my heart that soon everything will be alright. There will be a miracle and things would take a turn for the best of my interests. Well even though I had dreamt a lot about me being in love and had by now prepared a long list of things I want in my partner, I always wished (and I still do) that I get to be in love with only one person for the rest of my life and he would be the only one in my life in whose arms maybe someday I will die. I was so naïve back then and maybe I am so still now because I firmly believe love happens only once and well my chance with love is over and done with. No more do I desire to be hugged tightly and to walk beside someone hand in hand, to blush every time when that special someone would look into my eyes. Well to tell you the truth, that special someone is lost forever now. I seriously never thought this day would come in my life when I would have to give up on my dream which I had held onto for such a long time. But reality bites as well as slaps hard across the face.
I remember watching Kate and Leopold and wondering how a man can be. This was the first time I fell half in love with Hugh Jackman. One must watch the movie; he is such a sweet heart. Then came the stupid phase where I was running after these bollywood actors who no longer attract me. However Hrithik has managed to be still there somehow. I remember watching him in Jodha Akhbar. Well I remember the day as well when I and Chaiji (my grandmother) went out for the movie only because it was getting too stuffy in the house. Hrithik was simply wow!!! I remember later that night chatting with my friend and how we both were conspiring to rape Hrithik… Hehehe… that was fun indeed.
College life was fun. I got to read more books and even poems and watched a lot more movies now. Poems made me go madder than ever. Now I had company of these wonderful poets who too like me where hopeless romantic and in a way encouraged me to be so all through my college life. I met a lot of people here and well I had my share of crushes and crashes too. But all was in good faith and even though the days are long gone I remember the time I have spent with each one of my friend and it still gives me the feeling of being so very special. Especially the second year of my life, it was rocking and I was a Raw-Queen then!!! Organizing the fests, running here and there, officially bunking classes, always smiling, and a host of other stuff too. Well in this phase of my life, I remember hugging my juniors a lot and I must mention this that Aubhi was my first tight hug ever. It was the day he had returned from his NCC camp and one other time when he had won the CR elections when I was in 3rd year. It was only in 3rd year that I came to know who my true friends were. Pallavi was sick for most part of the 3rd year and I was also into politics and fortunately or unfortunately was a part of the School Students’ Union. Even though I turned out to be a shrewd politician (which I thought I was not capable of) I had lot of fun with that as well. I remember this late evening meeting we members had to attend and how Jonathan and Aubhi stayed back with me. Especially Jon, both of us talked non stop that day and I still am so grateful to both of them for being around there for me like this.
The birthday parties at my house where rocking and seriously I love my parents for agreeing to my demands every now and then. I used to tell dad almost everything about my everyday conquests of finding new places to shop at and bunk classes to watch movie and stuff. Then came Bhavans and Cu. During this phase I was not much in touch with my guy friends nor did I make any new guy friends. However this was the time when these special people in my life came to meet me. My true best friend whom I have lately hurt so much that he perhaps, or I am absolutely sure of, hates my guts and this true and first love of mine, who seems to have given up on me and seems to refuse to fight for me. In the past few days I have truly realized that whatever goes around comes around. I have caused so many heart breaks over the years, my heart too was bound to be shattered this badly. I seriously cannot complain about any of this to anyone. Because I know everything happens for a reason and I did deserve being used and misused over time and so it shall be. Today I don’t have a friend left with to share my feelings. Well its not that my friends have abandoned me or something. It is just that I have abandoned each one of them and I have consciously decided not to discuss my feelings and emotions with any one of them.
Hopeless romantic in love expects a hell lot of things from life. I imagined so many things which were never bound to happen and never thought of those things which were bound to happen. And so I am suffering right now. I should have been a better judge of the people around me. But as the saying goes, only God can judge me, who the hell am I to go around and judge people and pass my judgment unto them. Even after so many things have happened I am still expecting that somehow a miracle would happen and everything will be the way it was supposed to be in my dreams. But the truth is there is no prince charming, nor am I a damsel in distress waiting to be rescued. Well in a way I am the modern damsel in distress who desperately wants to be rescued but then as of now there are more important things in life which needs to be taken care of. And I frankly have no time in thinking about the stupid hopeless romantic stuff which might have happened in the past or which I have always dreamt of.
Well I know it’s cruel and being cold blooded, but now I think I have a chance to meet someone taller than me. Even though I doubt how much of love I would be able to give anyone but I guess I am once again ready to fall in love. But on second thoughts I won’t because I am done with the quota of being in love and trust is a word I cannot trust anymore. So I guess whatever has happened has happened for the best and its time I face the reality and be practical for a chance. Romance is a crucial part of life and I shall not give up on it. But yes, from now on I will do things for myself. Well even though I have always done things for myself, but now I will make sure not to regret any decisions I have taken. And most importantly will not cause embarrassment or hurt my parents in any ways. I know they trust and respect each one of my decision a lot, but its time I give them back what they truly deserve. I know in this new mission of my life (well this has been a mission of my life for quite sometime now) my Bhagwanji will always stay by my side.
The tale of a Hopeless Romantic shall continue. There is no end to it. Well I think now I will start reading the Twilight series and revive the romantic in me. And at the same time be the practical girl who will never regret decisions in her life. I know there might be a Gerry (P.S. I Love You) there for me, who would love me the moment he would see me, I know I will find my Jacob (Twilight series) who would love me and be by my side no matter what. But till then let me enjoy my rendezvous with these fictional characters and let me have the time of my life.
P.S. I want to watch cartoons again. Anyone reading this knows the torrent links of the cartoons I have just mentioned, please post them in the comments. Thank You!
