OuR LoVE SToRy!!!

Being a strong-headed girl, I always liked sticking up to the real people in the real world. But this net addiction was really like getting onto me these days. It was like I had to sit and chat with strangers sitting thousands of miles away, chatting about some random stuff, without actual sense or meaning. It was like the real people and this new virtual world were coming together for me. I would talk about my real life with these unknown creatures I met online. Some I met were good, some were okay and some didn't really make an impression in my mind even to think about them at present.

Computers were the new "in" thing in all of our lives. It started like this weird craze for all the children and the adults. Even our schools started giving computer lessons. There was a time when no one had even heard of a computer but now people had started getting access to it. If you had a computer at your place, damn, you were supposed to be rich. And then there were other factors too. Since it was becoming the new in thing, its importance in future was realized and foreseen. So one had to know about the computers.

I had initial computer classes in my school and moreover by now, thanks to Mom and Dad, we already had a computer at our place. I even joined a computer course and was doing really great in it. It was all fun. After computers came the internet. An absolute substitute for telephones telegraphs and letters. There were so many things you could have access to with the net. Sitting at home, one could talk and chat with people far away from you. Share pictures, watch TV and videos, get information instantly, and then e-mailing. With the rise of craze for internet, rose a craze to be a member of the social networking sites where people from different states, countries and religions could come together, interact and talk, discuss, do whatever was possible by the internet. It was great fun.

Initially I was a little apprehensive about this whole internet thing, but then I started enjoying it. I had never expected people online to be their real self whenever we chatted and interacted. I soon became a registered member of some of the social networking sites and started with my life online. It was cool to get to see real people actually chatting with; each of them had their own different thoughts and personalities. It was fun to meet new people without actually meeting them.

But my love story isn't all about the fun and frolic one can get out of the net. It is even more than that.

By now I was a part of this virtual world for almost three years. And in real life, I was having a great time. Even though I had met a lot of guys, both in the real and in the virtual world, I was still looking for my prince-charming. I too wanted to fall in love and to have someone real special in my life. I too was after all a normal girl at heart. Even to others I was this tough nut who wouldn't crack and could scare the huge creatures. But I definitely had met someone special. In fact there were quite a number of specials in my life by now.

In my real world I had found this tall guy, decent looking, a little dumb but caring. In the virtual world too I had found a bunch of tall guys who were so caring and special. But as they say you get what you deserve. And since I knew I deserve the best, so I had to be a little patient as well.

Well, it was true that I met my sweet-heart online. Thanks to this specific social networking site where we interacted for the very first time. And soon we were out of the online scenario and were calling each other (mostly he would call me up, because I was and I still am a big miser), exchanging messages and laughing at silly jokes, sharing our thoughts, feelings and our selves. Initially I definitely was a bit apprehensive about this virtual relation turning out to be real, but then the happiness I gained from all of this, the smile which automatically grew on my face whenever I saw his name flash on my cell phone was definitely making me feel real special. I have no clear recollections of our very first phone conversation, but as he says, and yes I do believe him, I appeared to be this arrogant snob who was really difficult to handle. But then also we both were talking over the phone almost all through the day. One fine day I was sitting all by myself and thinking is this something special. And to my surprise I did feel special. I purposely made him propose to me because I wanted to see how this would work out. There was this eagerness to know how a virtual relation can become real and also I for a change wanted to feel special. After he proposed, I wasn’t exactly serious for the initial months where he grew possessive about me. But within a couple of months I realized how very special and precious he was to me and everything else didn’t matter. That was the moment I started giving my 110% to our love relationship. We were officially dating for about a year, when my birthday came and I so wanted him to be here with me, but unfortunately he had to go out for some work. However he kept promising me a surprise gift, I so wanted him to be here with me.

My birthday came and left, but the package hadn't arrived yet and Ronie, my cuchie-poo, kept on saying that because of some postal problems the package wasn't coming. It was over a week now, when on a Sunday afternoon, on the call of the doorbell I got up and opened my door. To my utter surprise, it was Ronie standing in front of me. I felt as if I was dreaming but then could it be real? Oh my God! What am I supposed to do? How should I welcome him? Should I kiss him or should I hug him? What should I do? There were a thousand questions running through my mind and seriously I was absolutely clueless about what I should be doing. As I unlocked the collapsible doors of my house, I just couldn’t help staring at him. I wanted to scream and shout and say so much to him and yet I was speechless. All I could do was stare at his eyes and see him and make sure that it wasn’t a dream. That is when he pinched me hard on my hand and I realized it was real. God! It was all real and it was actually happening to me. He was here and yes he was mine. I was smiling and yet I realized that tears were there too when he brushed off the tears from my cheeks and that was the first time he touched me.

I can feel the warmth of his hands on my cheek even today. Well we are getting engaged today and yes virtual love stories do come true. Who said there has to be love at first sight? Love can grow naturally, take its turns and twists and then come to you. I was so much in love and whoever met me, said the same. Initially both of our parents were a little apprehensive about the marriage, as he is a Gujrati and I am a Punjabi. But our love passed the tests of our families and it was the day for us.

I saw Ronie entering the hall, smiling at me and looking so damn handsome in his blue sherwani. I too was in blue; we both had coordinated the dress for our engagement day. Even though marriage was due two more years, both the families had decided that a small engagement ceremony should be performed so that even when both of us go out together, the society will have no qualms about it. And both of us were more than happy to perform this ceremony as well.

When Ronie stood beside me for the ceremony, all I could do was stare at him. I even forgot about the ceremony and it felt as if there were only two of us there in that hall. But my sister tapped me gently on my shoulders when I came back to my senses. After the ceremony was over and everyone went back home, Ronie called me and asked me to join him for a long drive. Even though I was tired I went out with him, moreover I had no other option left, and he was already standing near my house, waiting for me. I tiptoed out of my room and left the house all in silence.

Ronie came out of the car and hugged me so tightly I felt I would crumble in his arms. I saw there were tears in his eyes and it made me feel so special. The entire drive, I kept staring at him while all he could do was smile back and even perhaps blush a little. Ronie is not a man of speech, but his gestures are enough for me to understand that yes I am special for him. At the almost end of the road, he parked his car and asked me to come out. I did so and to my utter surprise Ronie held me closer to him and kissed me so passionately I felt like a candle melting with the heat. He hugged me tighter and held me close to him. It was the first time I could feel his sexuality coming out so strong to me. Ronie had always liked hugging me but today there was something different about him.

“Today, you have made me the luckiest guy alive. I never knew what the actual meaning of love was until I met you. I had a past with girls where in my mind I had held them close to me and uttered the praises of love, but today when I am with you I don’t feel like speaking at all but only holding you tight close to me. This has been a special day for me and you don’t know how very special I feel today. I have never felt so much love in my entire life which I feel from you. You are my strength, my support, my love, my life and everything. I shall promise to always stand by your side and never to leave you again. But today I must ask something from you.”

This last statement made me wonder what he possible could want now. Was he going to propose marriage? But then isn’t the date already been set after 2 years? Was something wrong? Did anything happen at the home? I was full of questions, when Ronie broke his hug and looked straight into my eyes. I knew whatever he was about to say was something really serious. And so he continued,

“I know I shouldn’t be doing this to you but then I have got this offer from my office. They want to send me to France for three years on a contractual basis. I know this is a big decision and with the marriage and everything else lined up, I really don’t know what to do. But I also realize this is an offer of a lifetime and if I succeed in this project, there is nothing in the world which could stop me. We could live a life of luxury together and even have a better and brighter future. But I am confused; I want you to make this decision for me. I just can’t think of anything I just want you to decide for me.”

I looked into his eyes and saw the love and trust he has for me. I so wanted to say no to the trip. After all we were supposed to get married but then I shouldn’t also be stopping him from following his dream and be the successful person he wants to be. I knew what I had to do and so I asked, “When do you have to leave?”

Ronie, “By tomorrow night, if I do not want to be late”.

I had no words at all to say to him. He had made up his mind and I could see he wanted to leave, not because of the success but for us. So I asked him to pack his bags and leave and I would take care of my parents and my relatives.

The day he entered the check-in counter of the airport was the last of what I saw of him. Initially there were a lot of problems managing the time for talking and stuff. But soon we gave in to talking once in a week as it was expensive too. Slowly a lot more things changed and things came and went away but thankfully we both were still together. At least that is what I thought.

As he walks out of the arrivals alley, I see him smiling back at me. He has changed so much over these three years. Grown a lot more mature and manly I guess. He hugged me tightly and got down on his knees. He proposed to me in front of everyone right in the middle of the busy airport and all I could do was nod a yes and blush a little.

After four years of our engagement, Ronie and I were finally getting married. The preparations were made, the flowers arranged properly, the hall decorated, the food ready and everyone eagerly waiting for the moment. But more than them, I was eager to be married to Ronie and be with him forever. The time had finally come and we have had our share of fights, distance, love and everything else. But now was the moment of utter truth, the moment of our love when everything else ceased to matter and all what mattered was that we are going to be together forever.

Ronie over the years we both have been together and have witnessed the best and worst of life. All I can say to this day is that you are the one for me and no matter what… life and love both are incomplete without you. Love you so much my baby.

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I know this story has some changes and some assumptions of the future but you know what baby, with you around me everything else doesn’t matters. I just wanted to write something inspired by us and even though I had started writing this story long back, it was only today that I found an ending to it. An ending which shall be remembered by everyone. You are the special one for me and no matter what, I know God has great plans for both of us together. Every time you look into my eyes and cause me to blush, every time you hug me a little tight and kiss me on my forehead and my nose, tells me that we are made for each other and as many believe, “Our love story has been written by God Himself”. Love you now and forever and it is not just for the sake of saying, you know it too that all of it is true. I know we both have to a little more patient but with someone like you by my side I know life can be so easy going and filled with happiness. Love you…

The unsaid emotions...

Well yesterday I met two of my friends, one of them is getting married in December and we got discussing about zodiac signs and stuff. So here I was back at home, after a day full of weird events and a lot of irritation due to a number of reasons and started to google on zodiac signs and their compatibility. Isn’t it funny how superstitious we behave once we hear something negative from someone…

I went through our zodiac signs compatibility and as expected everything was negative about the so called us. I was highly irritated when I came across this website which was my savior. I loved the way things had been explained and how positive its outlook was.

The main purpose of writing this post here isn’t about zodiac signs and astrology it was for some other reason which is better left unsaid. At times I feel so tired of everything around me. The last escape of mine was horrible. That is the only reason why FB doesn’t have a new album of this super bad escape of mine. I just wish somehow to undo those days and be back here. Nonetheless what has happened is best gone and forgotten. So I would not talk about it anymore.

Then comes the time when life becomes so difficult when two people are not ready to accept each others presence. I am to be blamed as much as the other person involved, yet there are things which my morals or my values do not permit me to do and so I rather not get involved in things which mean nothing to me. Lately it has become so difficult to talk to someone. Typing is better way of venting out my feelings I believe. Even though I don’t write half the things but still someway or the other my emotions and feelings meet a way to be expressed. Having said and done enough… I just feel like going away and shutting my brain, locking it up.

Take care!!!

And I still can Dream!!!

Weird dreams have I encountered lately. Not just has the sleeping time increased for me but these weird dreams keep me wondering what is in store of me in the future. Well for a change future seems to me scary but in these dreams of mine it was kind of exciting and adventurous. So let me try and get into the tit bits about my dreams.

This dream I had earlier was about a cruise ride or something of that sort. I was with my family, and it felt as if I was back in Andaman and Nicobar Islands but then somehow it was much different this time. The ocean was huge and dangerous; the ship I was in was humongous, and it seemed to be dancing on the ocean bed where very interestingly there was tall column of pillars and it had these images sculpted on them and it felt as if the columns belonged to the Greek. I even heard the name of Zeus being uttered by someone and there was a male figure with flowing hair which occurred to me. I climbed down what seemed like a bridge but actually was the ship, leaving my family behind me and felt closer to the water and could feel it on my body as well. As soon as we got down from the ship I saw this huge gate close behind us and I was walking across a garden and met a family whom I had not met before and introduced them to my family and we kind of planned a day out together.

This dream was very weird and I just couldn’t get the head and tail of it. Yet I was there and sometimes I was scared, especially walking down the ship, and at times I was happy and excited and while sitting almost near the bottom of the ship I remember feeling sad. And the image of the male figure is still so clear to me that I cannot explain.

This second dream I had was all the more weird. I am supposedly in Delhi with 3 of my other friends. Only one friend can I recognize among the 3 and the rest 2 still remain a mystery to me. However I remember clearly that we were a group of 2 guys and 2 girls. So I see that we are standing in this weird office which is supposed to go through our closet to determine whether or not we will get an id of being a Delhite. Since none of us were Delhite, we pretended that we were and got our closets out and there was a huge truck and my closet had all my belongings and two suitcases and stuff like that. There was a female officer who was questioning us about many things and even after we filled the forms and got our pictures clicked for the ID, my other friends got scared and decided to leave their belongings and leave. I kept asking them not to do so or else we would not get this card, but they left. I even asked the authorities to hurry up and make the card because if my friends leave I will have to carry my closet myself and it will really be difficult while I have such a long way to go and even the metro would not accommodate me. I don’t know exactly how that argument was settled but the next thing I know is I am on a plane going somewhere, seemed like Dubai but it was more of Europe I believe. So anyways we go to this university where we are to stay. And also by ‘we’, I don’t mean the 3 friends about whom I mentioned earlier, now it was a huge group of people who had traveled so far with their ids. I got to see three of my old school and college mates in this university and was surprised to see how much they had changed over the years. Especially the girl from my school who was supposed to be so shy, was now daringly wearing a short dress and kept her hair lose and looked quite good. Not only I but another of my school mate, who also was in this trip and yet didn’t talk to me much, she also was surprised. Next I ran up to meet a nurse or was she a doctor exactly I don’t remember to ask whether or not we were to get vaccinations since we were tourists and their might be certain amount of precautions which need to be taken. But she replied in negative and asked me how I know of the procedure; I proudly claimed that I had seen it in lots of movies, well for real I can’t remember any such movie. Nonetheless she was impressed by my knowledge and said she would ask the authorities and would let me know if any such thing was meant to be done. By the time I returned back in the lobby area everyone was scattered since rooms were allotted to each one of us. However in the list my name and that id number were missing. So I contacted the reception and they said I have a special room only for me. It was like a trailer kind of room, very small though very spacious. I remember the cool cabinet which had drawers and had place to hang my clothes and also had space to keep my 2 suitcases in an orderly manner. It was really interesting. Later we all got ready, though I only saw myself leave the university to go out and take a look around the campus and get a hang of things.

At this point I was made to forcefully wake up since it was almost near the end of the day and start of the afternoon and it was time to wake up. In this dream all I felt was confused, happy, excited, surprised and feelings like that.

Both the dreams were very confusing and weird for me even today. Lately so many things are going on in my mind, I wonder if they are manifestations of my own sub conscious mind. Yet I don’t get logic in any of the dreams. Am I supposed to go on a foreign holiday or am I supposed to look out for certain interesting happenings in the near future? There are so many things I can and yet I cannot make out of my dreams. Yet I seriously wish to go on a trip and have the time of my life. Till then cheers to me, my crazy life and my weird dreams!!!

A mistake I will try not to repeat again.

Yes I admit it was entirely my mistake to have anticipated so much and expected so much that all I got was disappointment. Well to be frank, it was quite sometime now and I was actually looking forward to a change. I thought it would be good for me but little had I known then that it would all be a nightmare I rather could have avoided, if only I had never been so excited about the trip. Well so here I am narrating my trip… it is entirely my account of the trip and this here only n only refers to my perception of things. No harm meant to anyone purposely, so buckle up and read about my bumpy ride.

It was on Saturday that we had to board the plan. As anticipated the last few days weren’t very exciting because of reasons which are best hidden, yet luckily I had a great time with my old school friends who were a blessing in disguise. Seriously I never ever had imagined that I would be so comfortable with those friends whom I had ceased to know after class VII. Anyways there were reasons both to rejoice and be disappointed before I had boarded the flight to Delhi.

Well the flight was fine, not comfortable, however I do recommend the sandwich which indeed was tasty. So finally the flight landed and we were here in Delhi. Well I don’t know why but somehow my spirits weren’t very high yet I pretended to be excited. But after waiting for almost half an hour for someone to come and receive us in the airport I was very much irritated. The problem is I hate waiting, waiting for anyone. And they not just kept me waiting; they also kept my mother waiting, which was all the more irritating. Anyways, hiding my disappointment I embarked to a journey which seemed to be never ending. Finally we reached our destination, well I would like to call it Hell Hole, but keeping in mind the sentiments and emotions attached of my very dear ones, I will prefer it being addressed as a Black Hole or BH.

The first night was fine, but hardly had 5 minutes gone that all I could hear was complaints, so unnecessary and uncalled for, especially to those who come from so far. But what else can you expect in a BH. Anyways the next day I was supposed to meet my friend, I will not say friends, because the others involved are, were or will never be my friends. I woke up that morning to this urgent call which wanted me to reach this place early and didn’t wanted me to be late. So I got dressed, got ready, had a distasteful breakfast and embarked on this supposed fun ride to meet my friend. But it seemed like luck was never ever on my side. Nonetheless I reached the place in time and rather had to wait for my friend to arrive. And I was seriously irritated because frankly I just can’t wait. My mood was so off that I really wanted to hit him so very hard. Yet Rohan was there with me to support me and help me out. I seriously love him and admire him for all what he is to me. Anyways the day was okay, nothing great or grand, yet I had to travel half way to the city and had to come back alone as well. Kolkata me aisa nai hota. Anyways thankfully my brother-in-law was there to receive me in the station and I was rescued for the time being to be struck with another blow. I came back to BH and I don’t remember what passed through that day. The next day I was also supposed to go out once again yet nothing worked out rather no one wanted to make it work out. So I gave up and submitted to my fate and accepted whatever came my way. By the end of the day, was DJ night and even though I laughed like crazy that day I wish I could discuss about it in great details. But once again can’t do so as some sentiments and emotions are involved which I cannot hurt.

The wedding was a !!@##$%&*&*. I have no words to describe it. Anyways the day after the wedding was the day I could breathe normally. Oh I almost forgot my friend lost the gifts I had got him and his sister. Another set back for me. I wanted to some other friends as well, but somehow each one of them was responsible for a thing or two that I decided not to face anyone else.

Well a lot more it to be said, but I choose not to, because the moment I speak up, I will be hurting a lot of people and I don’t want that. No matter how much hurt and pain I have to suffer, I rather not want anyone else to suffer because of me. The only reason why I type all this out is the fact that I too wanted to let out my feelings and a lot of my feelings are yet to be expressed I am happy with whatever space my feelings have taken up. One thing is for sure, I am not taking any more supposed holidays again. I rather watch movies and indulge in shopping in the city I live in. someday I want to be far away from this city but then will other cities treat me the way Kolkata has.

No matter how things might turn out to be, at the end of the day my friends and family matter a lot to me. Even though the count of friends has reduced drastically, well not in my FB friend list of course, but in my real life, yet I try and cherish everything I have and I had. BH… hopefully will never ever get to see you again and be there again because I cannot take any more of you. Thanks for all the memories, good or bad, or whatever. So let it be…

A mistake I will try not to repeat again.