I am really shocked and appalled at this. Just because I am single and currently dating no one doesn't mean that I am available for stupid pointless flings. How can people even think like that? Do I look like someone who will sleep around with people for fun? Or do I look like someone who is easy to be taken and conquered in the bed? Seriously I feel violated. I wish to slap these people right across their faces. But then why should I dirty my hands for such creeps. I know anyways they will talk about me behind my back and contribute to the million rumors which are already doing their rounds about me. I seriously am doubting myself now. How else should I carry on with my life and these rubbish things in my life?
I am done explaining myself to such shit heads. They will anyways presume and assume what they want to, what is easier for them to digest. It would definitely will be hard for them to know the innermost secrets of my life and myself. They want to see me in the arms of other men, any men just for the sake of their stupid amusement. For them I am only a source of entertainment and not a human being who breathes and unfortunately has feelings. I seriously am feeling so depressed I don't know what I should expect next. I wanted life to surprise me, I hoped it would be pleasant surprises now and then. But I guess my life loves the excitement and only surprises me for the worst. If only things weren't this crazy, I guess I would have been the sanest person around.
And the worst part, the people who spread these rubbish rumors are those for whom I truly cared. And I don't want to question anyone. What should I ask them? They own me nothing, no explanation no friendship. But yes they do own themselves entertainment, be it on the expense of others. It feels like I am a part of others amusement and entertainment and they think not that I too may have feelings, that I too am capable of getting hurt. But then this is what I deserve. I have caused troubles for a number of people, so this perhaps is my turn to face the consequences of it.
Expecting love and friendship from others is something I should have done away with a long time ago. But this stupid heart still hopes, still beats, still feels. Oh! but how I want this heart just to stop. I would rather be dead than to face such wrong notions about people. I am done trying to be strong, trying to face these rubbish accusations, trying to pretend that everything is fine. I want all this to end. Please Bhagwanji, if only you are listening, and I know you are, make it the end of all wrong notions, not just of others but of me too. Please end all of this, end me... Let peace be with all with this end.
Just tired of all the wrong notions.
I am done explaining myself to such shit heads. They will anyways presume and assume what they want to, what is easier for them to digest. It would definitely will be hard for them to know the innermost secrets of my life and myself. They want to see me in the arms of other men, any men just for the sake of their stupid amusement. For them I am only a source of entertainment and not a human being who breathes and unfortunately has feelings. I seriously am feeling so depressed I don't know what I should expect next. I wanted life to surprise me, I hoped it would be pleasant surprises now and then. But I guess my life loves the excitement and only surprises me for the worst. If only things weren't this crazy, I guess I would have been the sanest person around.
And the worst part, the people who spread these rubbish rumors are those for whom I truly cared. And I don't want to question anyone. What should I ask them? They own me nothing, no explanation no friendship. But yes they do own themselves entertainment, be it on the expense of others. It feels like I am a part of others amusement and entertainment and they think not that I too may have feelings, that I too am capable of getting hurt. But then this is what I deserve. I have caused troubles for a number of people, so this perhaps is my turn to face the consequences of it.
Expecting love and friendship from others is something I should have done away with a long time ago. But this stupid heart still hopes, still beats, still feels. Oh! but how I want this heart just to stop. I would rather be dead than to face such wrong notions about people. I am done trying to be strong, trying to face these rubbish accusations, trying to pretend that everything is fine. I want all this to end. Please Bhagwanji, if only you are listening, and I know you are, make it the end of all wrong notions, not just of others but of me too. Please end all of this, end me... Let peace be with all with this end.
Just tired of all the wrong notions.
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