Rock on!!!!

So finally something good happens to me when I absolutely decide to give every damn thing up and live a simple and booooooooooooring life. When I have no clue about where I will go and with whom I will hang on, he comes back with a bang to go away sooner than the cold breeze was blowing today. Whatever, the moment matters a lot and that is what should be counted for rather than the frowns I had all the evening long. Totally unexpected but so damn pleasant.
So all changed since we last met, has to be. After all it seems ages ago but the memories seemed so fresh as if everything had happened just yesterday. The songs, the steps, the sweetness, the food, the trip, the chats, the tears, the dance floor, everything was just perfect. But then the inevitable end to all good memories comes in the inevitable separation of all. Well nothing much we all will get busy with our respective lives and then who has time for anyone else except our own fucking self? Yes or no? Should I stop wishing him for his birthday or should I keep on doing that? Should I remind him that I made useless efforts to keep on reminding him of my existence? But then that wouldn’t be fair cause I know he doesn’t even realizes a bit of the situation and let him enjoy his life, why create complications for anyone at all? Moreover there are the sweet memories I can always look back to and remember how well we both mixed and how people said crap about us and how we both shed those tears. I guess no one knew about it even though there were so very many people around us. even today somehow things were not the same as were earlier but we didn’t had to start anything over again and that is what makes this relationship all the more special for me. Even though soon you will be gone, you will remain right here in my memories forever and ever as long as I live and as long as I can feel. It was a hell of a joy ride with you my buddy and even though nothing of it remains to look forward to in the future I guess I still will cherish all those sweetest moments. And guess what we never ever fought… awesome record, I say.
Whatever. Maybe it’s finally time for me to stop day-dreaming and go off to sleep and back to my awfully stupid dreams.

Caught you! Again reading the crap I just typed out? If you don’t like it and feel irritated why bother????????

Moody Me :P

Stupid mood swings I have now and then. By the way, each semester I decide to be serious and the non-talkative types who will just observe whatever is going around her but why the hell cant I ever change? It’s so fucking irritating. @~!THTI&*&)$... all rubbish seems to surround me at times. Well as for the happy-go-lucky types, I just love being myself but most of the times people around me someway or the other try to prevent the best in me, but know what who cares? I love myself a lot to harm it at all. Self-obsessed perhaps. Whatever.
What I wanted to talk about was my weirdest mood swings. One moment m so happy that suddenly I go in the silent mode and even at times in the vibration mode. Man, m great, genius and absolutely awesome. Had a great time in college. You wont believe in AB’s class am an absolute child doing all nautankis possible and he never says a thing to me [he’s good at heart]. And as for the new seat I have acquired [first bench...have never ever in my life have I choose to be on the first bench and last year and am in the first bench]. And because of this new seating arrangement of ours the dear Profs every time have to turn towards us while teaching. Even by now my neck hurts but the bench is absolutely mast and free from so very many inconveniences. Shit man, why can’t I ever stop talking? In fact I can stop whenever I want to but don’t know why it never ever works with me. Whatever who the hell cares? “It’s my blog and I can write [type] if I want to.”
Well so as I was saying…..I keep on digressing from the main issue here. That is my mood swings. So, had a great time in college. Came back home and felt so tired that couldn’t just keep my eyes awake and slept for 3 hours [too less I know]. After that was a hell lot of work for me. Something got onto me and as usual got back into the silent mode and here am typing all the rubbish out. Superb.

So some lines have to be written naa:

God was busy with some work but sessions were on for us.
The rain was pouring as if down on us.
The drizzle, the mud, the water did surround us.
And the shop-keeper led down on us.
Then came the food to look forward to
The frown was gone now and there were ice-creams too.
So I ate fast and moved towards my destination
And saw that there was lots of occupation
But then the black clouds darkened us all
I couldn’t express when or how
But did understood and so I sit
All by myself and so I do wait
For life to show me the best of it
And to love all of it.

When you don’t understand why bother man? So I have spoken more than I was supposed to. Yippesssssss. Would carry on with more of such rubbish.

What's this???

Whatever that was for, I already got to see a damn good movie and believe me it was worth a watch and that too with special people around you. Had a great great time and I am now so very happy for no specific reason as such. And this was the first Saturday I got off in college in 3rd year and it feels awesome to finally get the weekends to myself and my friends and family. And as I always say I am loving it!!!!!!!!
The weather was awesome but as usual because of the drizzle the roads were messy. But I got to do all the masti under the sky and even Di with the plaster couldn’t stop me. Isn’t it fun at times to just being able to do whatever you feel like and there’s no one to stop you or question you? I love being naughty and mischievous, it helps me use all the preserved energy in the world. I do sound excited at times when I am just allowed to do all the nautankis and I am never blamed for them. ;)
So as for the Saturday, it turned out to be more like a Sunday and I couldn’t believe that I don’t have to go back home and start thinking about college tomorrow. Great, isn’t it? Definitely it is. Maybe you out there wont realize how much I missed getting my weekends off. It was hardly for two years that the college has taken over my lovely holidays but it seemed like ages now. That isn’t weird now.
Finally I have even started updating my diary and don’t really know for how long I would be able to keep it because you never know when I might just end up tearing off the pages or burning them off. I am like that, most unpredictable. But I love it. And maybe by now people should crown me the Nautanki Queen, I so rock in it. :-P
Well time for some useless words from my side:
It wasn’t exactly what I was looking for in you but then it was something I liked. The ride of a lifetime and the flash in front of us was all so very perfect. The sky, the clouds and everything around us. The background music was continuously interrupted by the noisy lot and the cowboy shoes looked so very out of the town. The rain drops were so warm and the chicken was stripped off. And the ulta-pulta was seedha-seedha for me. ;-) Had a great ride of a time and now I feel so tired and stressed out but then there is the hope of having a great time once again. And that too pretty soon, I hope to. “What’s this?”

Nothing of sense here so stop staring at our computer screen and don’t strain your eyes guys.

Don't bother to read more

The closer you get to someone you tend to feel more secured and warm and somehow much better. But then there are the stupid feelings of insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness, and this added responsibility of trying to hold on to. I have absolutely no idea why I just typed it all out, maybe just for time pass or just because I allowed my fingers to wander off for a while… :-) I always do that and delight in doing so. Whatever now let me write whatever I feel like and please don’t even bother to read any further cause obviously it wouldn’t make any sense to you.
Well, these are college ka last year and I don’t know about studies but I will surely miss my college days, the masti, fun and everything possible I had done during this splendid 3 years. I had most of the fun, with everyone around me. Did a lot, heard a lot, by now have even seen a lot. But whatever all that was I had a great time. It was one hell of a joy ride and as this third year dawns on me I am reminded that I am getting old and I want to be a kid forever. Why can’t that happen??? :-(
Well some SWEET moments which shall stay with me forever…….
Just a “sweet” word says it all and now I am surely flying high above in the sky. The cold breeze preventing me from all the dirty heat outside and the humidity level which might have reached like a 100%, I surely was in much much safer hands. I was sitting just on the other end and those white gleaming light which circled us both was like Heaven. And the Busiest Bee of the town was not allowing him to rest for a while. Help was just too short a term to be used; I could have sat there to do all of it. “What” is not the question. It was magical and then the killing smile. A God for sure and I felt so cold and yet so warm. I looked about and there standing flaring at the smoke, awesome was it for sure. Dreams for sure can be true when one expects the least out of them. May God shine on us all and may I get such unexpected moments forever in my life.
Confused as always? But who cares? I don’t that’s why I keep on updating stupidly written careless blogs every now or then. Maybe because there are many things in life which I won’t ever be able to express it to others nor will others be so very patient with me to hear me out and then stop them for saying that “Girl, you sound so stupid”.

LA LA LALALALALALAAAAAAAAA

So I am back to writing crap again.... Oh how much I love doing that..........making no sense at all and making people read it ;-).......sorry dear friends if I make you go through all of my nonsense, but you know me, I cannot be without nonsense for you guys to make sense out of it... Here I go again and confuse all of you out there.......

Well this time it's nothing more than the simple lyrics of a song which I seem to like a lot and I hope you guys would listen to it too, as I already am \m/

Tu Bole Mein Boloon - Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na(2008)
Movie : Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na

Music Director: A R Rahman

Director: Abbas Tyrewala

Producer: Mansoor Khan, Aamir Khan

Starring: Imraan Khan, Genelia Dsouza

Lyrics: Javed Akhtar
Tu Bole Mein Boloon Song Lyrics - Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na
Tu bole glass aadha khali,

mein bolu aadha bhara,

Mein bolu kitna saara,

tu bole zara zara..

Mein bolu din hai to,tu bole raat nahi..
Baat to wahi hai naa,Bass wahi baat nahi..
Baat to hai bass yahi ki,Meri baat bass..
(Jaane tu..jaane tu ya jaane naa,Maane tu..maane tu ya maane naa)
Tu soche yeh zindagi hai,

yeh naa badlegi kabhi,

Mein sochu sab badalta hai,

Kyu naa badlegi kabhi..
Mein sochu tu hi tu,

Mera koi aur nahi,

Tu soche mein hu tera,

Bass tera koi aur nahi..

Koi aur ho ya naa ho,Tu hai, mein hu, bass..
(Jaane tu..jaane tu ya jaane naa,Maane tu..maane tu ya maane naa)

Ridiculously happy

I realize the fact that life isn’t all what we want it to be. There will be times when I would sit to think why it ever happened to me on the first place, there may even be times when I will blame myself for everything that has gone wrong in life. Today something absurd and out of the ordinary seem to have possessed me, and so maybe I make no sense. It feels so strange and so hard to see things around me not like as I wanted them to be. There have been times when my expectations exceeded limits and then came in regret, anger and pain. Even today something seems so not right while I type all this out.
Some stupid lines:
I was walking through the woods and I looked back for you to walk beside me, to hold my hand too. It was then that I came across this memory, preserved long back ago, which seemed to stir my emotions badly and somewhere I wanted to cry. I never was ready to think like this, I never wanted to be without you, but still I am absurdly happy that your memories shall always be with me to look forward to. The dark shadow seemed to have taken over the rays of the bright sun but can it hide the rays forever? I walk and try to jump but then how can I reach there? Was it for me to decide to walk towards you or was it you who decided to step back too? I still seem to be waiting and the paths have now frozen to walk on without your hands in mine. I do not deny the fact that I wanted you to fulfill my selfish desires. And how can I forget the look in your eyes which never had anything for me? It still is my decision to wait here for you while you are long gone in the darker shadows of happy life.It still will be my decision to want to walk beside you even though we are not meant to be. Just a look of your eyes did the magic for me which maybe a thousand eyes could not have done. You hardly smiled, but when you did it made me feel special. I still want you back for my needs, but then I too want to make you feel special and to let you know how you have been a part of my life even without intending to be so. All I can do now is to wait for the bright sun to shine again and make me feel warm. All I want now is to know you all the more and let the days pass with not you and I but “us”.
Again a small piece of my thoughts which will not make sense but somehow being ridiculous in such an attempt I am happy to finally being able to write things without letting others know what’s on my mind and at the same time I speak my mind too… so once again I am successful in confusing others and as I say be happy even when you are confused in life or confused because of me. ;-)