With fire in my eyes...

Right now, I am seriously bugged up with everything around me. It’s seriously too sick to be sick and not being able to do anything about it. I hate medicines but still those don’t even stand as an option for me right now. But let’s just not talk about it and rather talk of some pleasant memories.
Just a few days back I had to stay back in college for some work and had to wait for a 4 absurd hours. And since the day I got the news of my greatest day in college, definitely I wasn’t excited about it and kept on asking myself what will I do for so long? Where will I go and how exactly will I save myself from getting bored? So many questions and I had no answers to them. I surely couldn’t have asked anyone to stay back for me till then but someone surely volunteered to do so. And A was also there with me for 2 hours and that’s more than what I could have asked from her. Anyways Jon and Aubhi stayed back as well and I am really grateful to both of them for waiting for me till the work got over and saving me from all the boredom I would have otherwise faced ;-) But then it’s always good to know that people wait for you :-P And both of them are real nice people, wish them the best of life.
Then did some of my part of shopping for my cousin’s wedding though I ain’t much excited about it but still I surely want to attend it. But it is just before the exams and with that I am reminded of the fact that I am not studying at all and instead am typing out this blog. ;-) But let’s see what exactly is in store for me and I seriously hope everything goes well. A hell of a positive person I might be but let’s see how everything turns out to be.
Life has been a little slow lately but then I am sure it will pick up some speed soon, it can’t always be dull and boring as it can’t always be lovely, happy and giving. Well I have done something real big some time back and because of that I have got to know myself a lot better. The things I was uselessly running after was not worth anything. The things I believed in turned out to lose my faith soon as they were not to be trusted in the first place. It seems I don’t regret my decisions and don’t regret anything I did. Perhaps this had helped me to be a better and bitter person cause not everyone deserves being loved and liked. Nasty of me indeed but that is how world seems to work. I can’t just give up on myself to keep others happy and see myself as a wreck, in the middle of nowhere. Too many things have happened and it has just made me a little stronger to be weaker inside. ;-) Anyways I don’t exactly mind these days sharing myself out here cause not just it acts as a stress buster but even though people get to know about my feelings I don’t really have to fake them in front of others.
But still I wish I wouldn’t have been here at all in the first place with no one beside me. Too many contradictions to exactly figure out what is going in my mind.

NB has gained some weight I guess and he looks better and that too sporting a little longer hair which does suit him. I got to watch Hugh’s “Scoop” where he was the villain but nonetheless I love him. ;-) One great actor he is. Nothing more of the masala as for now cause life is lacking that.

Yeh tumhari meri baatein
Hamesha yu hii chalti rahein

Take me away

These days, I don't know why but I feel like things will fall apart soon. Soon all the patience would be lost and soon life would be a little worse than hell. But lets hope for a better tomorrow. :)


I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh.

Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
No.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A higher place.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh.

Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
No.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.
Oh.

Wish that you could, but you ain't gonna own me.
Do anything you can to control me.
Oh, no.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A higher place.

There's a place that I go,
[Pocket Full Of Sunshine lyrics on

But nobody knows.
Where the rivers flow,
And I call it home.

And there's no more lies.
In the darkness, there's light.
And nobody cries.
There's only butterflies.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A higher place.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A higher place.

Take me away: A secret place.
To better days take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A higher place.

The sun is on my side.
Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky.
I know I'll be all right.

The sun is on my side.
Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky.
I know I'll be all rïght.
-Natasha Bedingfield

Just to forget...

Dreams lovely dreams. Makes you want to live life again and make you want to believe in things you had lost faith in. dreams take you to the world where you always wanted to be. Do things you always wanted to do. Lovely space carefully protected in our memories. I am a big dreamer and am not afraid of my dreams at all.
Let’s see what happens next.

For days have I toiled to get you out of my head,
To stop sensing you are there and to feel your breath.
So why have I worn this mask of success,
Just to seek your attention or just to impress?
Words, stupid words come in my head
And I don’t know how well to forget
Those memories and moments which were not worth living
Those days which were not worth cribbing?
Today, tomorrow or had it been yesterday
Nothing will ever be coming your way
………………………..

Pup...pup...away...........

It is a puppet’s life for sure. Some buy it, some sell it and some are… Some time back I thought I would never indulge myself in such a market where there is no profit at all. And guess what even though I tried to keep myself away from it I am suffering from heavy loses. :-)
Any ways, it surely was never planned by me but then somewhere out there someone planned it all for me. It was totally unexpected but as any other spectator I had enjoyed others’ performances a lot and wished mine too could have been so great and wonderful but things were planned the other way round.
The show began even before I could realize it and I was in the centre stage giving my performance and the audience was very supportive and encouraging. So here I was and there was no way of turning my back to it. The spot light was already on me and I had to perform. And to my heart’s delight you too were there with me, and we were performing together. I was happy and excited and wanted this performance to go on forever, at least as long as we could manage. And I must say we were managing it mighty well.
I never ever imagined that out performance would end so soon and that I would actually be a puppet. I had performed thinking we were performing together but I was so very wrong and generally I am wrong in trusting people, and in this case, a puppet so easily. It soon seemed that I was performing and you made me perform as you desired to see me and not as I wanted to be. Anyways it was way too complicated and it still is. But it seemed I was a toy up for sale or rather till yet on display and sooner or later someone would have bought me. And I was surely up for display in the showroom. But this toy girl soon realized what was going on around her and much to even her surprise now she is very much into buying and selling of these puppets. Now she organizes shows for them and makes them act and perform in the stage called life. Ever wondered why? Well the answer lies very much in all of it. It a two letter word with everything in IT. ;-)
I can make others dance to my tunes now. I can make others laugh or cry as well. Cruelty is perhaps attached to me these days but who isn’t cruel in this pretentious world where people are to conscious of their softer, emotional side.

It is a futile effort on my part to make others realize how very shallow we are becoming each day. Hope things will change for lucky few and lets all hope that sooner or later things will be back to normal perhaps. ;-)


I have learnt that for every love letter written, there is another one burned.

The system

I had a great time with old school friends. I previously had no intentions of ever going out for pandal hopping since I strongly believe that it’s all a part of showing oneself off to others rather than paying any kind of homage to our beloved deities. Anyways the three of us planned to go out together on the afternoon of Navami thinking that the day would be cloudy, but we had it the harder way. Anyways the point of me writing it all down is that no matter how badly things were turning out for us we were together and had a great time. It somehow reminded me of the old school days when especially I and S would always be together, having a really awesome time. And A would occasionally contribute as well. It still feels like we are still in school and back to those golden old days when we were together and not so much busy with our respective own curriculums. Those stupid things we did every now and then. The first day we met and how much I encouraged them to talk to me even though initially they were a little hesitant and how fast we became friends. Those stupid places we were allotted away from each other and how soon we would change our places to as to being able to talk to each other. And especially me and S, no one was ever able to stop us from opening the Tiffin boxes in the middle of the class and that delicious junk food we both have had. Some days in paradise I say. Those silly jokes we laughed at, those days when we used to give a damn to other onlookers inside the school premises, etc. etc. etc

So many things, such great moments and awesome memories, everything was revived the other day. Seriously guys you made my day and thanks for whatever you have done for me till yet and I wish you both the best of what life has to offer.

“Jinse socha naa tha mohabbat kar baithenge

Unhi ne mohabbat ka seekh padha diaa

Aur jinko khojte rahe hum mohabbat ke liye

Unhi ne humme ruswa hona seekha diaa.”

:-) ;-)

Kya baat hai????

Memories...

Sawaariyan




The Classic


I am losing my sanity finally and all because of myself. I am great at messing up my life and regretting every damn decision I take. And later cry and expect people to be around me to console me when I am the one who should be blamed for all.
If only I could talk to you, to tell you how much I was and I wasn’t a part of my own self. I wish you could have sat with me here earlier. I wish we wouldn’t have arrived at this. But then what is done cannot be undone now. They say they saw it in your eyes but what if I never felt it. They never could see the real in me so how can I believe them? How could I make them understand that I am lacking in me? My lips are sealed with fevi stick as if, I want to scream out loud but I cant. And the worst part of all I am happy or at least I still can pretend to be happy. But I still can smile and yet manage not to cry in front of even you.
Hehehe
Blabbered again… but for what joy, I don’t know. What is true is not even true any more. ;-)

Here’s my memory of SAWAARIYAN

I don’t exactly remember the date, but I do have the tickets with me [I could have seen the dates but who would move?] I had warned my dad time and again not to watch the movie with us and had insisted that he should take OSO’s tickets but nonetheless he came with us. A hell lot of things happened that very day and two more unwanted creatures had joined us in. Yucks! That was bad, super bad.
Anyways according to me it’s a story inside another story so as to say Fiction and in fiction anything in possible. Gulab ji [Rani Mukherjee] narrates the story of a Rockstar Farishta [Ranbir Kapoor] who tries to keep everyone happy. He is sad to see others sad and he tries his best to keep everyone around him happy and cheerful about love and life. As for his own self, he falls in love with a girl, a pretty damsel. A girl waiting for her love...and her love has promised his return 2 her. And so she waits for him and is ready to do so as long as she can. That is what we see in Sakeena [Sonam Kapoor]. Well but who doesn’t wants true love in life and is ready to wait for it even for a lifetime. If not then I guess the modern scenario has somewhat change. Anyways the story covers only 4 days and in those 4 days our Rockstar Farishta undergoes so very many diverse emotions and feelings.
What I liked most of the movie was its simplicity, the way SLB could show that love has so very many meanings and depends on how individuals react to it. The scenes must have been so very out of the world but it was fiction, and what I feel it depicted the Fairy land we all must have dreamt of once, though would have picturised it very differently. I liked the character of Ranbir Raj, somehow I felt I could relate to him and I could see so many similarities indeed with him. As for Sakeena’s character I saw glimpses of my self in her too. I could see the romantic in both the characters and could relate myself. The songs were awesome and I guess the movie was more of musical than a typical Bollywood flick. The setting was superb, I do agree there was too much use of the color Blue, but then it was a fairyland…with dreams so pure and true. I had so much to write about the movie but as I sit and type all this out I wonder how many out there reading this would actually understand whatever I said and how much would lol? And moreover I know how much the movie is closer to my heart and I don’t care about anyone else’s feeling regarding the movie.


THE CLASSIC:

My first Korean Movie ever. And believe me it was worth a watch. The narrative technique used in the movie is awesome and the entire cast and crew have indeed done a great job with the story.
It’s a simple love story with seeks to attain fulfillment even though not in one birth but it doesn’t dies out with time and the eternal nature of Love is stressed upon in the movie. It is surely no bakwaas masala but true feelings which come out in the movie.
Many won’t know the story nor would I like to narrate it here. Friends if possible do go ahead and watch the movie. Though I have my serious doubts that you all would to that thinking if a girl likes Sawaariyan then her choice must be a total loss. But it is not so.
Anyways I loved both the movies and they both are close to my heart some ways or the other.


Still want to type out so much but won’t in fact cant cause speaking too much might me my cup of tea and blabbering out everything is surely my cup of coffee, which I don’t like that much but still indulge myself in drinking it. ;-)