And it Happens... DAY 2

So finally I am able to convince Sudhir to go out with us for a morning show in the multiplex just near our college. By the way I and Anchita have to bunk college today so as to be able to hang out with Sudhir. Well it is simple as it sounds, he is in morning shift and we are in the day shift. So after college if he will have to wait for 4-5 hours, it is kind of pointless and moreover I had so many questions in my head, Anchita was going to get the answers for me today. So I feel after all it is a good enough bargain, for me at least. Oh! What should I say? I am just so very impatient today.

By the way last night I dreamt about me and Sudhir. He was coming towards me, giving his sweet smile, when suddenly someone comes in front of me and blocks my view. It was so difficult to view past the person that unwillingly I give up looking at Sudhir only to realize that Sudhir was not coming towards me but was coming towards someone else, perhaps the shadow in front of me is the only reason why he smiles so much. I know my dream was disheartening, but I have a plan. Others say if one shares there dream with others, the dream will never come true. So I simply share my stupid dream with Anchita who seems to be having stomach ache hearing my 5-minute dream. How mean of her! Yet I don’t mind it, as long as the dream doesn’t come true, my purpose is solved. Well I can be a little clever at times as well.

But it is Anchita who chides me for being so naïve. According to her I should at least be looking a little different, a little special for Sudhir. But then if you go to see it my way, how will Sudhir react if he sees that I am trying to be something I am not. And if there are any chances for this guy to like me, I would prefer if he likes me the way I am and not because of any sham or any artificial reason. Anyways this makes me wonder why Anchita has taken so many pains to look so different and refreshingly fresh today. Seems like the girl has a mission in mind and I hope that mission is to help me in everyway possible. I wish her luck and success.

So finally inside the hall, I feel like I am a step closer towards something I was so badly clinging onto. Well I did not let Sudhir pay for all the tickets. It is unfair if you ask me. The guy himself is studying, and not even working, nor is he a very good friend of ours (as of yet) that we should ask him to pay on our behalf. So it is better to share and pay for our own shares. So initially I decided I should be the one sitting between both of my friends, but Anchita suggested we should let Sudhir sit in the middle, this will help us gaze into his intentions more clearly. Well I must say for a girl like Anchita who is always into books and studies, she seems to be quite smart as well.

It was in the interval when I realized some of my other friends from college have also come to watch the movie and since the hall was practically empty at this hour in the morning, all my friends insisted that I should sit with them. So I took Anchita aside and asked her if it was a good idea if I leave them alone so that they can talk amongst themselves and if she can get to know any better of him. Anchita readily agreed and that is the best part about her, she never says no to me for anything. I hug her tight and leave her to sit with Sudhir while I nervously go to sit with my friends, all the time my fingers crossed so that something positive works out. And then instead of the drama in front of my eyes, I end up with my 5-minute dream.

His smile makes me feel so shy and I just don’t know why. I so wish he could come near me so I can hug him tightly. But his friends keep him so busy and all we do is exchange glances, me blushing and he giving me his radiant smile which seems to affect me so badly that my friends wonder if I have gone mad or something. I so wish they could see and feel what I was feeling right now. Stupid girls, I pray to God they get to feel the same way I am as soon as possible. Let these hopeless nerdies fall in love too God. Oh yes, it does feel like I am in love. So very much in love.

And it Happens... DAY 1

I know it has really been a long time since I sat to write about my days in college. It is not that I don’t like writing about my day, but somehow you know, I just don’t feel like it anymore. But today I will go ahead and share an incident which should have taught me an important lesson in life, but look at the stupid me, the stubborn me, won’t ever learn from my mistakes.

Standing near the canteen, I was wondering how exactly would Sudhir look and would he like me too. Over the past few days we had been exchanging quite some messages. Initially we met on our college’s website and started talking instantly. He is a year senior to me and as you know, I have hardly noticed him in college, but seems like he has. And so we kind of exchanged numbers and became friends. Today is the first day we will be facing each other for the very first time. I am kind of excited because over the past five days I guess, I think I have started liking Sudhir. No doubts he is sweet, charming and friendly but it actually depends on a lot of things. Anyways my cell phone beeps interrupting my thoughts and he messages – “Why are you looking so lost? Did you not like what you saw? Should we not meet?”

Woo! Where did he get it from? And most importantly where was he? I did not see him and so frantically I start looking around, just to realize that he was standing in front of me, just across the corridor, confused and staring. Well I give him my very big, super big as some say, smile and it seems to warm him up. I walk towards him and the next thing you know he starts talking. Its fun to be with someone senior. You get to know so much about the place you have been. His perception about the college, the professors seems so much different from a month old student like me. Yet it is fun to spend time with him. Finally he agrees that I am not that scary as others thought me to be. Well a positive something for me to take back home and dream about. Maybe my 5-minute dream. It is fun to realize how stupidly and innocently I can start dreaming about anything and everything.

After I meet him, I tell Anchita about how lucky I felt to have finally found a good friend in the college. Anchita and I met on the very first day of our admissions and since then it seems like we are inseparable. Well to tell you the truth, we both are kind of scared of leaving each other’s company, scared of getting teased by our seniors. But I knew, knowing Sudhir would definitely give us an edge above others. Anchita so can see through me at times. Hardly known each other for a month and she already laughs at my childish smiles while I day dream to glory.

Anchita smiles with me and conspires that one day all 3 of us would go out and she would ensure that Sudhir gets to know all about my good points and that she will try and measure if the guy in question is also interested in me. Wow! Seems like a good plan to me. But the problem lies in the very fact what if Sudhir says a No. Oh! I can’t bear that thought. This stupid thought just broke my 5-minute dream with him. But I won’t lose hope this time. Life should surprise me for a change and I am so ready for it.

Jab Tak Hai Jaan....A Review!

Jab Tak Hai Jaan, marks the end of a great director Yash Chopra whose movies have been celebrated for more than three decades now. But the fact remains that JTHJ isn’t one of his greatest works. The movie borders on cliché Bollywood SRK stereotype movie, which is a big disappointment.

The so-called King Khan makes an entry in a bike and diffuses a bomb without wearing any safety gear, and in the very beginning he is claimed to be The Man Who Cannot Die. Well it is really strange to see a man who is not at all versed in English, trying his best to survive with his not at all funny English in the city of London. As always the locale continue to mesmerize and hard to miss out on. But there is an irritating SRK, who makes Katrina live life in its true spirit. Gosh, so Kal Ho Na Ho. Only this time he gets more and more irritating and pathetic. The first half, where the story of their love is being narrated, is full of songs. And SRK’s dance sees it’s worse ever. Kat manages to shake a little, but Ishq-Musk seems to be a breather for many. I have a very pertinent question. How can a person not able to speak in proper English get a work Visa and live in the city of London, return back to India, join the army and within 10 years become a Major for Indian Bomb Diffusion Squad, when it was clearly shown that he was not a degree holder or nothing. And if after coming back to India if he did manage to complete his grads, can a person in 7 years become a Major and that too for the Indian Bomb Diffusion Squad. By the way a bit of the movie is inspired by Ghajni as well, when SRK seems to forget about his present and can only remember whatever happened 10 years before. Surely one can start yawning by now.

Katrina, dear please don’t work with SRK again. You guys don’t look good onscreen. Kat manages to dance and run here and there a bit, but seems to be like her own character in the movie, Namaste London, remember Jazz?!?!?! Well hello Meera, you are so alike. SRK tries to add the desi tarka to her life, but fails miserably. In the second half she was more like the silent Jaya Bachchan of Sholay. Nothing much to say about your acting. Just never again do the mistake of working with srk.

Anushka Sharma, God bless you girl for being in the movie. You help bring the pace in the movie in most of the dull moments. Her character reminds one of Ranvir Kapoor in Saawariya. If you have seen both movies then only can you draw the conclusion. Infact Sawaariya seems to be the Anushka version of JTHJ. The cheerful and bubbly Anushka adds color, joy, rhythm and pace to a slow dragging movie. But just like Karishma Kapoor in Dil Toh Pagal Hai, she has to give up on the love of her life in the movie, whereas srk gets to go with his love.

The ending seems to be too dragging. Could have avoided a lot of unnecessary bits. Rishi and Neetu Kapoor come on the screen, but when you expect there will be something, their part is done with. A character like Anupam Kher has no work in the movie. Sagarika is seen after a long time and she does her bit well. There should have been an explosion in the end where srk and Kat could have shown to be together instead of the usual ending, reminds me of Dil Se. Songs are bearable, not a very good work done by A.R.Rahman. Vaibhavi’s dance numbers could have been peppier as she has managed to do in the past, here she hasn’t given her very best. All in all a typical Yash Chopra-srk love triangle movie. My verdict: a one time watch if you have three and a half hours to spare or else indulge in any other activity.  

That's about it...

You know what its really been a long time that I properly sat to write something down. So many things have happened, so many days gone by and here I am still the same old me. Well to tell you frankly I do love myself and wish that I don’t change at all but somehow something or the other keeps on changing in me each day.

To begin with, well I have done it, I have dared to love life again. I have dared to fall head over heels in love once again. No doubts it was a tough call for me after what had happened but you know what this relationship seems to be a lot more difficult and stranger. Not that I don’t love him or something but to love him means to accept and not to expect so very many things. I know it will take time and I will learn in due course, but somehow losing out on my patience isn’t the best option for present. But yes I am surviving, taking my chances one by one and trying to out-do myself. Whatever that is supposed to mean.

Contemplating on what has changed or not, a lot of friends have gone so far away. Not that I am not happy for them just that I miss the fun we had together. But what is the point of regretting the loss, its better to rejoice because I could a chance to live those moments with special people and I hope they remember it too.

That’s about it from my side. I had thought I would write a lot more, but just don’t feel like anymore. Maybe some other time. Till then take care and enjoy…

Kuch to abhi baaki hai...!!!!

Off lately I have been intending to write a lot of stuff but just did not had the right words and also wasn’t in the right frame of mind to write things properly. I did not want to write stuff which will mess up things for me. Already I feel like I am in the quick sand, no matter what I do I drown deep inside. But I feel even this is a phase of life which I will get over with and believe me if I can sail through these days I will be a mature person indeed. And frankly I want to be that mature person who is loved by all. Don’t know how it will be possible but I will try and try my best, for sure.

To tell you the truth I don’t want to talk about whatever happened. Bad memories are something I always want to escape from. And so I should try and talk about the positives. The one positive thing is that I am positive that everything will work out. I know Bhagwanji has His own ways of testing me and I know I will surely succeed this time. Bhagwanji, please be by my side all the time and do not leave me alone ever. You are the only one I can trust on at this dark hour.

At this point, I can only remember Barney Stinson’s dialogue from ‘How I Met Your Mother?’

            “When I feel sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead…!!!! TRUE STORY”

That is about almost I want to say at this point. I shall speak more when the right time comes. Till then all the very best to me… May Bhagwanji give me enough courage and maturity to face things in the right frame of mind.

Dumie and me?!?!?!?

There is nothing new I will be typing today. It will be the same old cribbing about life, the same old unmet expectations, and the same old me with the same old sad song of life. Well you know what let’s just laugh at me for today and also look for a sad song for myself if possible.

No matter how many times I am hurt, battered and bruised by people, I will still have the same level of expectations from each one of them. This is seriously annoying as well as dumb of me because firstly, no two people are alike, secondly, expectations are meant to be broken, and thirdly, who the hell gave me a right to expect things from others? This is the basics, and yet it seems like I need to be reminded about them time and again. Well as they say, old habits die hard. But by the end of the day I will ensure than either these habits die or else, well, someone should die no matter what.

I haven’t come up with a song as of yet… still thinking on it.

How dumb and stupid a person can be, especially a person who thinks of herself as amongst the smart ones. It’s all just a sham. Just to appear cool and funny in front of others, one has to pretend to be strong. But then it actually goes with my image, so can’t argue on that. Who cares if I gave up on some of my choices in life, who cares if I am sick and don’t feel like doing something, just because I won’t speak up and make the other person realize, it’s all useless. Show off and exaggeration should be a trait one should follow rigorously in life not just for the survival of the fittest, but also be one amongst the best-est for your boss/ friends/ love and at times family too. I can’t forget it ever how family melts towards that child of the house who seems to always be unwell. But when genuinely the other, stronger child is unwell, the house does not even realize it. I hate being the strong child of the house; it gives one the undue disadvantage of being neglected all the time. But I guess that is how life is always meant to be unfair, biased towards the fair ones, and literally the fair color people seem to get off with anything and everything. Its time I get a plastic surgery done on myself to change my color and be more acceptable amongst others.

Heart, no matter how hard it beats, should always be broken. It doesn’t matter if you feel for someone, what should matter is that you are alive because of the stupid heart which beats. I wish someone can take the life out of me and let me live in void, in the silence and the calm. I believe death would be something like it, but how should I know, I am still alive.

Somehow I am reminded of the song, “Who let the dogs out?” I will have to check for its lyrics to determine if it can be the sad song of my life. I know it by no means sounds sad, but it’s the truth, we keep on asking “Who let the dogs out?” when we ourselves have unleashed the dogs.

Many a times my heart and brain fight over petty issues. Frankly I do not know whether I am a heart person or a brain person. It seems like both the organs are working fine and are always ready to counter each other. Like two celebrities fighting over a pending decision in a reality show. Wow, image heart and brain fighting like over a piece of chicken tikka. Heart, don’t eat it, the poor chicken must have gone through a lot; Brain, Wow, it looks yummy, a little spicy, yet who cares, have it…!!! But no matter what my heart and brain are like those stupid judges who will fight about anything and everything possible on earth. And that is one of the major reasons why I end up being confused about life and things around me. Well as if I was the sanest amongst all. It’s better to be as far away from sanity as possible, it at least keeps you alive.

“Who let the dogs out?” is a good song no doubts, but it cannot be my sad song, because it is more about boning than about anything else. I will have to look for another song. I guess “Lonely is the night” will be a good selection. It is a good song indeed and goes well with me. It’s a song between my heart and brain, I with me.

That is all the fun for today. Some other day, some other time, will laugh on my stupidities one again. Till then take care and get well soon dumie, it is starting to take a toll on your health now. :)