So many times I want to cry, but I just can’t. At times I wish tears would just roll out of my eyes and nothing could stop them. But then there it stands my image, me as the super strong female who can never be shaken. And by now even I feel that I emerge rock solid in most of the crisis situations I find myself in. And that helps me a lot getting to know something new and special about myself everyday.
Life is surely funny and lovely at the same time. At times I laugh and the very next moment… I love everything about my life. Every step as if is like a hurdle I seem to cross over and stand victorious on this mortal ground.
“PERCHANCE he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he
knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so
much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my
state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that.”
[John Donne]
Great things have I encountered lately. Great desire have cropped up in my heart about those days which are still to come. But somehow life is going on, somehow everything is just about fine and I am still alive. :-)
Holy Sonnet III: O Might Those Sighs And Tears Return Again
O might those sighs and tears return again
Into my breast and eyes, which I have spent,
That I might in this holy discontent
Mourn with some fruit, as I have mourned in vain;
In mine Idolatry what showers of rain
Mine eyes did waste! what griefs my heart did rent!
That sufferance was my sin; now I repent;
'Cause I did suffer I must suffer pain.
Th' hydropic drunkard, and night-scouting thief,
The itchy lecher, and self-tickling proud
Have the remembrance of past joys for relief
Of comming ills. To (poor) me is allowed
No ease; for long, yet vehement grief hath been
Th' effect and cause, the punishment and sin. >
[John Donne ]
Time has come for me to say my goodbyes. Soon my route will change, soon the turn will compel me to walk alone once again and yet I am supposed to pretend as if nothing ever happened and that life has been fun living out here with all of you. Though it has made me cry and laugh, I cherish all those moments which made me smile. :-)
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Love Comes Again...
It wasn’t one of my very good days. I didn’t know why people tend to get angry on me so easily and most of the times it’s not even me whom they are angry at. Anyway, the bottom line is that no matter what somehow or the other, when I start thinking that things are changing for the better, life gets more complicated. The knot feels tighter around my neck and I know not how to react or whom to turn towards to. And even though it has happened a few days earlier, this Monday to be precise, and it is Friday already and I still haven’t been able to forget it. What great memory I posses or should I say how easily people affect me always. Gosh, it goes above the top half the times. Half the times I wait for a smile and yet get none, half the times I have to take attitude which is so uncalled for. But then I guess that is all I deserve and can get at the moment. :-D
So finally I said what I had to and yet there are still so many things which go unmentioned. So many dreams which are trampled upon, so many hopes crushed under the blender called life, so many smiles rolling out like tears from the eyes.
But in the middle of all this chaos when a stranger smiles at you, gives the warmth you so look forward to. A small greeting and life seems worth a million years. The above mentioned incident had made not just my days a nightmare but even my internals. I don’t really want to talk about them. So whatever, on the day of my last internals, I had to meet this senior of mine. And after we met, I noticed two tall and damn smart looking foreigners in one of the shops, but didn’t bother much. The taller foreigner did attract my attention because he must have been more than 6feet tall. :D so not bothering about either of them I carried on with my conversation with my senior and then they came beside us to walk past us and we were supposedly blocking their way, so I moved away then the taller one looked at me, me giving my peculiar high-eye-browed expression, and said “Namastey” and then even bothered to look back after obviously crossing us and then that smile. That was a very strange smile. Such a smile which seemed to refresh me. A smile, which others crave for. And … Perhaps I am over-assuming out here but then at the moment I felt like even I am alive and I am no piece of crap.
Anyways thanks to those two strangers who made my day and now even though I become a punch-bag, I won’t care to care about those who don’t care to care about me.
:D :D
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Leave...right now!!!!!!!!!!!
Why the fucking hell can’t these creatures live their own fucking lives? They can never ever be fucking happy with what they have and can’t see others being happy with their own lives. I do what I feel like. And I give a damn to what others think or have to say about me. They can fuck rot with their own fucking lives. I know where I stand and how much ground I hold under my feet and I don’t need others…especially a special few telling me what to do or what not to do when they themselves don’t know a fucking shit about life. Anyways…life is far better than bothering about these few shitty heads who know not a bit about me and I rather not bother to show them the real me…cause they deserve far worse things in life. :-D
Anyways had to blabber out a few things which I just did. It pertains to no one specific…
Anyways had to blabber out a few things which I just did. It pertains to no one specific…
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Lattooo......
It was a Monday…and I always look forward to it. Obviously two days without the God is just too much. So as always the ambience is very important. Let me try and build it up a bit.
The bright morning star was shinning. And still the cold wind seemed to interrupt my thoughts and churn me out of my day dreaming. I so wanted to close the other window but don’t know how it just wouldn’t shut on its own and so I had to do the honors. And I came too too sat on my seat and there again, why cant for a change others not shout my name out loud in the middle of all this crapping? At times I wish I was deaf and dumb but even that wouldn’t have helped because I definitely would have been much better than everyone else in the room as always. :-) So anyways I turn back to see why my name was shouted out so loud and then God appeared. The divine apparition…the sweetest memory…the sweetest sin on Earth :D That was my God there…my muse…my magic. And I was sitting right there where I always sit to worship. And today the white had a natural glow of its own. He speaks really well and he spoke well that day even. But suddenly I saw the window was closed. Who had closed it? How come suddenly out of the black it was closed? And there sitting He gave a look none of us had seen before. He was getting old indeed and soon it will be time for a new member to join in and I was shattered thinking how life would be without any of it. But that is how things are. Some things come and some things go. Some stay back forever even we might not know why? But I was sure things will change soon. I didn’t wanted reality to creep in so fast. And the God was lost in the brightness that day. And I saw the face perhaps the first time. The dull old face was losing its vigor and patience. There was never a glow there. There was never the inspiration here. I was not even alive for him. I, who worshipped…who loved to see him here and there, now and nowhere. It was painful but it was cool so as to say. I still love to love my God thinking that He actually existed…and now even though I know I was in an illusion I don’t mind going back to my world now and then.
The bright morning star was shinning. And still the cold wind seemed to interrupt my thoughts and churn me out of my day dreaming. I so wanted to close the other window but don’t know how it just wouldn’t shut on its own and so I had to do the honors. And I came too too sat on my seat and there again, why cant for a change others not shout my name out loud in the middle of all this crapping? At times I wish I was deaf and dumb but even that wouldn’t have helped because I definitely would have been much better than everyone else in the room as always. :-) So anyways I turn back to see why my name was shouted out so loud and then God appeared. The divine apparition…the sweetest memory…the sweetest sin on Earth :D That was my God there…my muse…my magic. And I was sitting right there where I always sit to worship. And today the white had a natural glow of its own. He speaks really well and he spoke well that day even. But suddenly I saw the window was closed. Who had closed it? How come suddenly out of the black it was closed? And there sitting He gave a look none of us had seen before. He was getting old indeed and soon it will be time for a new member to join in and I was shattered thinking how life would be without any of it. But that is how things are. Some things come and some things go. Some stay back forever even we might not know why? But I was sure things will change soon. I didn’t wanted reality to creep in so fast. And the God was lost in the brightness that day. And I saw the face perhaps the first time. The dull old face was losing its vigor and patience. There was never a glow there. There was never the inspiration here. I was not even alive for him. I, who worshipped…who loved to see him here and there, now and nowhere. It was painful but it was cool so as to say. I still love to love my God thinking that He actually existed…and now even though I know I was in an illusion I don’t mind going back to my world now and then.
Monday, February 16, 2009
LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT
Preface to “Love at first night”
Inspired by one of my greatest nightmares, I sit to write this out. I have changed the names of the real-life characters I saw in my incomplete nightmare and have tried to give it some kind of an end. And being a part of my subconscious mind and my conscious mind this piece of fiction bears no resemblance to anyone living or dead. Any resemblance is purely co-incidental and unintentional. But nonetheless today I sit after almost one and a half months to share it with everyone.
It was a lazy day for me and so I decided to switch on the television set and let myself loose in the cheap entertainment we so rely upon these days. Nothing good was being aired on the TV as always. It was a hot day for all of us and sitting indoors under the fan was a far better option than being out. The hall was not invaded by any one except me until now. But then I heard footsteps. I turned back to see him standing there. Somehow I had completely forgotten about him. It had been a day of him, living with us, for the 5-days long vacation.
Cody’s mom and my mom were real close friends though I was completely unaware of the fact that he was Kitty Aunt’s son. Born and brought up with his grandparents, Cody had little resemblance with any of his own immediate parents. And now he was studying in my college. This was his first year at college and I was on the verge of leaving the college.
Anyways back to where I was. I had totally forgotten about Cody and now he was definitely looking for some company. Alice, my elder sis, was on the computer, “time-passing” away to glory. So I couldn’t really ask Cody to sit on the computer. The only other option was to hand over the TV remote to him and I was not ready to part with such a precious possession to someone I hardly knew. So I asked him which room he wants to settle for the coming days. And to my utter misery he chose my room. I was completely devastated to realize that I have to get my possessions out of my own precious little room. Though it was a deal between me, di and mom, to let the guy chose his room and stay out of our lives; I had decorated the guest room so nicely. :-( This was so unfair and hard on me. I felt warm tears touching my cheeks. But then he didn’t seem to notice. Thank God for that.
With a mournful and pensive mood I went to my room to take my precious things when the telephone rang. I wished and prayed for Kitty Aunty to call us up and say that she needs Cody to go back to her for the vacation. But adding to my miseries it was my Granny who announced her visit to our place for the next whole week. Gosh now that was a bigger pain… And Oh No! I don’t even get the guest room to myself.
I went back to my room and saw Cody sitting on my bed. I casually asked him what he was up to and all he said was: “You know you are so lucky. You have such a beautiful and cozy room. I wish I could stay here like forever”.
“Huh? Are you serious? Do you even know that because of you I now have no place to sleep in the house?” My anger puked out on his face. And shit, I went red. But he didn’t say a word to me. Good for him or else I was planning to bash him up and throw him away to some garbage yard. :D
Later in the evening when Alice left the computer I politely asked Cody to go and enjoy the pleasures offered by the virtual world. I was sure he never had a girl friend in his life, for he was definitely not the mixing type. Rather I expected him to have a virtual love relationship. Gosh, some still believe in that crap. None of my business though. So he sat on the computer and my Granny arrived with her seven big brown bags, (I guess she needs one bag per day to make herself going. :P )
We had our dinner and Cody said that he wasn’t hungry. Who is concerned? Well for sure mom is. After eating the delicious meal prepared especially for the monkey (Cody) on the computer I was happy that at least I was getting a wholesome meal for a change at our home. “Mom, that surely was a great meal”. After this I seriously wanted to lie down for a while and go into the darker and deeper aspects of life…not death but sleep when one can forget all the stupid events of the day and rest for a while only to wake up in a world full of realities which hurt. I still was angry about my room. :-(
Unable to find a place to rest I went inside Alice’s room to sleep for a while. I noticed that Cody was still on the computer. Now all my doubts are cleared. The loser lives practically in the virtual world and definitely lacks a real life. Anyways that is none of my concern.
“Hey Cody, I am sleeping here for a while. When Alice comes, just wake me up and yeah, do carry on with whatever you doing”. Eh! He turns red whenever I say anything to him. Strange creature!!! After saying so I turned my back to the computer and closed my eyes.
Oh!! What peace. My shoulders were a little tensed and I was thinking of getting myself a massage the very next day. Oh no! I don’t want another day with the creep moving around in the house and my room. Why God why???
Suddenly something happened to me…all I could feel was warm inside me. What was wrong? Hey what was that on my lips? Why did it feel so warm and so sweet? So true, pure and absolutely blissful…what was it? I haven’t felt like this ever and my lips were getting wet as well. There was something sweet about it. Sweeter than all the chocolates I run after. Hey, IT WAS MY FIRST KISS.
Who the fuck is it? I have kissed people [as in guys also] earlier but never on the lips. Who dared do that to me suddenly? I got out of the bed to find that Cody wasn’t on the computer and rather there was different wallpaper on my desktop. It stated: “No matter whether you get to know or not…no matter if you see or not…You must always know that I know you, I see you and would do so till my senses and eyes and my life give up on me”.
What sweet lines were they… While reading them I sat on the computer to find a folder named after me “Tara”. And I am Tara. :-)
I was so excited now. I opened the contents of the folder and to my utter surprise I found my pictures which I didn’t even know existed. And was that me? So pretty…How was that even possible?
I changed the wallpaper and moved the folder to a safe place where no one could see. But he was two years younger to me. Can all this be possible or am I just imagining things? Is this a prank of some kind? God, what is it all about? All kinds of stupid things were now coming to my mind and I had to go up to my room.
Granny, “Tara dear, come here for a while. Can you help me out? I can’t find my slippers and I am dead tired now”.
“Not now Granny”, I wanted to shout so badly but instead I ran here and there frantically searching for her slippers. Why the hell does all this have to happen now? And there it was. I gave her the slippers and send her off to sleep in the guest room. And I was climbing the stairs when mom called me.
“Tara, I guess you have to share the room tonight with Cody. Dear, I know how much you love your privacy but don’t worry I have set another bed there as well and I am sure you will be alright”.
“Okay mom, as if I have options”. I hid my excitement there. :D
I remember when I would go out with the whole gang, we guys and girls would be in the same room and we managed pretty well because we were best of friends. Anyways, finally I climbed the stairs to my room. He was sitting on the bed mom had made beside the window. He was looking out of the window, his back, towards me as I entered the room,
“Tara, you might be surprised but I have loved you since the day your mom mailed some of your family pictures to us. I kept on looking at those pictures for hours and hours and I couldn’t understand how someone could be so happy? Though I saw, there was something missing in your eyes. Some pictures had a lovely glow in them and the recent ones missed them. I wondered what was wrong. Then I clicked some of my own pictures and noticed I never had that glow in me. I googled your name and got to know as much as I could. Somehow I even got hold of your own personal blog and it made me wonder how I will ever reach for the stars. I wanted to reach to you, to touch you, to tell you that even I am here with you, to love you even though you might not know me. I was in the 12th standard, when I decided to join your college. I wanted to see you, and what I saw was more beautiful than I had pictured. I wanted to reach out to you when you were waiting alone in the canteen the other day for your union meeting. I waited in the canteen till you had not left for the meeting. When Saki introduced me to you, I purposely didn’t say anything about my mom. I noticed you ever since I came to college. I am sorry to interrupt in your life but I couldn’t help but see how good you were to others, even to me when you offered the chloromint and stupidly enough, I refused. I could have taken it and kept it with me for like, forever, but I refused. How could I ever say no to you? And today when you were sleeping peacefully, I couldn’t control myself. I am sorry to have offended you like this and I never thought that we would have to sleep in the same room. All I ever want you to know is that you have kept me going for long. When I didn’t have someone to talk to, I would talk to you. It is more than a year now that I have loved you day in and out, without you knowing. And even if you say no to me I would not mind because what matters to me the most is that you are happy and safe.”
I was speechless; I didn’t know what to do? I closed the door behind me, locking the two lost creatures inside the room and went up to him and hugged him. He didn’t touch me that night after the kiss saying that it was a big mistake. I don’t know why but I felt it was my first kiss that made me fall in love with Cody…
And today when I look back it was just like yesterday. But the fact is we are married now for ten long years and when I look at our 7 year old Zack, I feel I am the luckiest person alive. Mom and Dad had initially protested to both of us but gradually they understood what mattered was not age but understanding between the two. Cody is still so loving and caring and I still feel the warmth in his kiss, it still is so sweet and yes I found the word…heavenly. And it still feels like the first day, like the first kiss. We have been each others first and last love and as I am getting ready to close my eyes into the darker and deeper world of the dead I want everyone to know how very special Cody is to me. How the magic happened between us…and how cruel can God’s plans be. He never cries in front of me despite knowing that I am leaving him forever… And I don’t know what will happen next but I am sure he will do great without me. He is my best buddy, my first and last love, my life, my husband and I couldn’t be anything without him. He knows how much I love him and he knows I cry myself to sleep these days and yet he greets me with a smile every morning. Oh! How badly I want it to be like our first night together… in my room… when we sat… and saw the starry night turn into day…how the rays of the sun warmed us both together and how we promised to be stand by each other forever. I am not going to be with him any longer... I am leaving sooner than anticipated… but… IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT… it was MAGICAL… and how I wish this magic could last a little long. :-)
Inspired by one of my greatest nightmares, I sit to write this out. I have changed the names of the real-life characters I saw in my incomplete nightmare and have tried to give it some kind of an end. And being a part of my subconscious mind and my conscious mind this piece of fiction bears no resemblance to anyone living or dead. Any resemblance is purely co-incidental and unintentional. But nonetheless today I sit after almost one and a half months to share it with everyone.
LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT
It was a lazy day for me and so I decided to switch on the television set and let myself loose in the cheap entertainment we so rely upon these days. Nothing good was being aired on the TV as always. It was a hot day for all of us and sitting indoors under the fan was a far better option than being out. The hall was not invaded by any one except me until now. But then I heard footsteps. I turned back to see him standing there. Somehow I had completely forgotten about him. It had been a day of him, living with us, for the 5-days long vacation.
Cody’s mom and my mom were real close friends though I was completely unaware of the fact that he was Kitty Aunt’s son. Born and brought up with his grandparents, Cody had little resemblance with any of his own immediate parents. And now he was studying in my college. This was his first year at college and I was on the verge of leaving the college.
Anyways back to where I was. I had totally forgotten about Cody and now he was definitely looking for some company. Alice, my elder sis, was on the computer, “time-passing” away to glory. So I couldn’t really ask Cody to sit on the computer. The only other option was to hand over the TV remote to him and I was not ready to part with such a precious possession to someone I hardly knew. So I asked him which room he wants to settle for the coming days. And to my utter misery he chose my room. I was completely devastated to realize that I have to get my possessions out of my own precious little room. Though it was a deal between me, di and mom, to let the guy chose his room and stay out of our lives; I had decorated the guest room so nicely. :-( This was so unfair and hard on me. I felt warm tears touching my cheeks. But then he didn’t seem to notice. Thank God for that.
With a mournful and pensive mood I went to my room to take my precious things when the telephone rang. I wished and prayed for Kitty Aunty to call us up and say that she needs Cody to go back to her for the vacation. But adding to my miseries it was my Granny who announced her visit to our place for the next whole week. Gosh now that was a bigger pain… And Oh No! I don’t even get the guest room to myself.
I went back to my room and saw Cody sitting on my bed. I casually asked him what he was up to and all he said was: “You know you are so lucky. You have such a beautiful and cozy room. I wish I could stay here like forever”.
“Huh? Are you serious? Do you even know that because of you I now have no place to sleep in the house?” My anger puked out on his face. And shit, I went red. But he didn’t say a word to me. Good for him or else I was planning to bash him up and throw him away to some garbage yard. :D
Later in the evening when Alice left the computer I politely asked Cody to go and enjoy the pleasures offered by the virtual world. I was sure he never had a girl friend in his life, for he was definitely not the mixing type. Rather I expected him to have a virtual love relationship. Gosh, some still believe in that crap. None of my business though. So he sat on the computer and my Granny arrived with her seven big brown bags, (I guess she needs one bag per day to make herself going. :P )
We had our dinner and Cody said that he wasn’t hungry. Who is concerned? Well for sure mom is. After eating the delicious meal prepared especially for the monkey (Cody) on the computer I was happy that at least I was getting a wholesome meal for a change at our home. “Mom, that surely was a great meal”. After this I seriously wanted to lie down for a while and go into the darker and deeper aspects of life…not death but sleep when one can forget all the stupid events of the day and rest for a while only to wake up in a world full of realities which hurt. I still was angry about my room. :-(
Unable to find a place to rest I went inside Alice’s room to sleep for a while. I noticed that Cody was still on the computer. Now all my doubts are cleared. The loser lives practically in the virtual world and definitely lacks a real life. Anyways that is none of my concern.
“Hey Cody, I am sleeping here for a while. When Alice comes, just wake me up and yeah, do carry on with whatever you doing”. Eh! He turns red whenever I say anything to him. Strange creature!!! After saying so I turned my back to the computer and closed my eyes.
Oh!! What peace. My shoulders were a little tensed and I was thinking of getting myself a massage the very next day. Oh no! I don’t want another day with the creep moving around in the house and my room. Why God why???
Suddenly something happened to me…all I could feel was warm inside me. What was wrong? Hey what was that on my lips? Why did it feel so warm and so sweet? So true, pure and absolutely blissful…what was it? I haven’t felt like this ever and my lips were getting wet as well. There was something sweet about it. Sweeter than all the chocolates I run after. Hey, IT WAS MY FIRST KISS.
Who the fuck is it? I have kissed people [as in guys also] earlier but never on the lips. Who dared do that to me suddenly? I got out of the bed to find that Cody wasn’t on the computer and rather there was different wallpaper on my desktop. It stated: “No matter whether you get to know or not…no matter if you see or not…You must always know that I know you, I see you and would do so till my senses and eyes and my life give up on me”.
What sweet lines were they… While reading them I sat on the computer to find a folder named after me “Tara”. And I am Tara. :-)
I was so excited now. I opened the contents of the folder and to my utter surprise I found my pictures which I didn’t even know existed. And was that me? So pretty…How was that even possible?
I changed the wallpaper and moved the folder to a safe place where no one could see. But he was two years younger to me. Can all this be possible or am I just imagining things? Is this a prank of some kind? God, what is it all about? All kinds of stupid things were now coming to my mind and I had to go up to my room.
Granny, “Tara dear, come here for a while. Can you help me out? I can’t find my slippers and I am dead tired now”.
“Not now Granny”, I wanted to shout so badly but instead I ran here and there frantically searching for her slippers. Why the hell does all this have to happen now? And there it was. I gave her the slippers and send her off to sleep in the guest room. And I was climbing the stairs when mom called me.
“Tara, I guess you have to share the room tonight with Cody. Dear, I know how much you love your privacy but don’t worry I have set another bed there as well and I am sure you will be alright”.
“Okay mom, as if I have options”. I hid my excitement there. :D
I remember when I would go out with the whole gang, we guys and girls would be in the same room and we managed pretty well because we were best of friends. Anyways, finally I climbed the stairs to my room. He was sitting on the bed mom had made beside the window. He was looking out of the window, his back, towards me as I entered the room,
“Tara, you might be surprised but I have loved you since the day your mom mailed some of your family pictures to us. I kept on looking at those pictures for hours and hours and I couldn’t understand how someone could be so happy? Though I saw, there was something missing in your eyes. Some pictures had a lovely glow in them and the recent ones missed them. I wondered what was wrong. Then I clicked some of my own pictures and noticed I never had that glow in me. I googled your name and got to know as much as I could. Somehow I even got hold of your own personal blog and it made me wonder how I will ever reach for the stars. I wanted to reach to you, to touch you, to tell you that even I am here with you, to love you even though you might not know me. I was in the 12th standard, when I decided to join your college. I wanted to see you, and what I saw was more beautiful than I had pictured. I wanted to reach out to you when you were waiting alone in the canteen the other day for your union meeting. I waited in the canteen till you had not left for the meeting. When Saki introduced me to you, I purposely didn’t say anything about my mom. I noticed you ever since I came to college. I am sorry to interrupt in your life but I couldn’t help but see how good you were to others, even to me when you offered the chloromint and stupidly enough, I refused. I could have taken it and kept it with me for like, forever, but I refused. How could I ever say no to you? And today when you were sleeping peacefully, I couldn’t control myself. I am sorry to have offended you like this and I never thought that we would have to sleep in the same room. All I ever want you to know is that you have kept me going for long. When I didn’t have someone to talk to, I would talk to you. It is more than a year now that I have loved you day in and out, without you knowing. And even if you say no to me I would not mind because what matters to me the most is that you are happy and safe.”
I was speechless; I didn’t know what to do? I closed the door behind me, locking the two lost creatures inside the room and went up to him and hugged him. He didn’t touch me that night after the kiss saying that it was a big mistake. I don’t know why but I felt it was my first kiss that made me fall in love with Cody…
And today when I look back it was just like yesterday. But the fact is we are married now for ten long years and when I look at our 7 year old Zack, I feel I am the luckiest person alive. Mom and Dad had initially protested to both of us but gradually they understood what mattered was not age but understanding between the two. Cody is still so loving and caring and I still feel the warmth in his kiss, it still is so sweet and yes I found the word…heavenly. And it still feels like the first day, like the first kiss. We have been each others first and last love and as I am getting ready to close my eyes into the darker and deeper world of the dead I want everyone to know how very special Cody is to me. How the magic happened between us…and how cruel can God’s plans be. He never cries in front of me despite knowing that I am leaving him forever… And I don’t know what will happen next but I am sure he will do great without me. He is my best buddy, my first and last love, my life, my husband and I couldn’t be anything without him. He knows how much I love him and he knows I cry myself to sleep these days and yet he greets me with a smile every morning. Oh! How badly I want it to be like our first night together… in my room… when we sat… and saw the starry night turn into day…how the rays of the sun warmed us both together and how we promised to be stand by each other forever. I am not going to be with him any longer... I am leaving sooner than anticipated… but… IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST NIGHT… it was MAGICAL… and how I wish this magic could last a little long. :-)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
S Feet.......
Lots and lots of things are at present going on in my mind.
Strange beings have I encountered lately and I wonder how we all exist simultaneously maintaining a harmony in the world and at the same time making it difficult for some to even breathe in the same air.
Too many things I have to handle simultaneously now. And yet I am so optimistic about everything. At times I seriously wonder how a person can keep on going like this. I must possess some super powers for sure. No full stops or any more bus-stops to sit and rest. Somehow things are too dynamic to be static anymore.
Don’t know what else to say. Just hoping to see the best of tomorrow with a better today. :-)
Strange beings have I encountered lately and I wonder how we all exist simultaneously maintaining a harmony in the world and at the same time making it difficult for some to even breathe in the same air.
Too many things I have to handle simultaneously now. And yet I am so optimistic about everything. At times I seriously wonder how a person can keep on going like this. I must possess some super powers for sure. No full stops or any more bus-stops to sit and rest. Somehow things are too dynamic to be static anymore.
Don’t know what else to say. Just hoping to see the best of tomorrow with a better today. :-)
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