Words stolen from a song featured in the movie - Twilight.
Nonetheless a lot of what I am going to share if a lot what I feel and the words say it exactly.
So it was just a normal day and I was finishing off my household chores when this thought came to my mind. And it actually shook me bad and I have started thinking, deliberating and a hell lot more.
Back to the point, as a kid I was always told I was special and that I would get whatever I want. But as we grow, I have realized those tales have no importance. Chaiji was lucky in that way, and I doubt if my luck is that great. Can't even wear clothes as per my choice, how will I manage the rest. I cannot even keep my last name, have to give up on everything. And I am not that girl who would agree to everything. And here I am obeying orders. I have to do everything and who knows may even have to sacrifice on my career. What a gamble.
I wasn't this girl ever. The way I have been bought up, girls are at par with boys and it is no shame to clean our own undergarments and looking for places to dry them off. Boys also help in the kitchen, they help the girls. But this is not what I chose for myself. I chose something I have always laughed at, something which I have always hated and I will continue hating for the rest of my life.
All this while living for parents, and then would be living for someone else. In the long run, I will completely forget myself and maybe even not bother about myself. I know it hurts now, but I will have to get used to this hurt and then avoid it completely or living would be the greatest difficulty for me.
All what I ever stood for, all I ever supported and belived it, is all going to become a hollow sham. I am no good than the street urchin, lying, begging, stealing for the sake of his food. And I am hopeless, seriously suddenly I feel my entire body is drained out. I just want to sleep for sometime and not think of my difficult future.
All the best to me.
Nonetheless a lot of what I am going to share if a lot what I feel and the words say it exactly.
So it was just a normal day and I was finishing off my household chores when this thought came to my mind. And it actually shook me bad and I have started thinking, deliberating and a hell lot more.
Back to the point, as a kid I was always told I was special and that I would get whatever I want. But as we grow, I have realized those tales have no importance. Chaiji was lucky in that way, and I doubt if my luck is that great. Can't even wear clothes as per my choice, how will I manage the rest. I cannot even keep my last name, have to give up on everything. And I am not that girl who would agree to everything. And here I am obeying orders. I have to do everything and who knows may even have to sacrifice on my career. What a gamble.
I wasn't this girl ever. The way I have been bought up, girls are at par with boys and it is no shame to clean our own undergarments and looking for places to dry them off. Boys also help in the kitchen, they help the girls. But this is not what I chose for myself. I chose something I have always laughed at, something which I have always hated and I will continue hating for the rest of my life.
All this while living for parents, and then would be living for someone else. In the long run, I will completely forget myself and maybe even not bother about myself. I know it hurts now, but I will have to get used to this hurt and then avoid it completely or living would be the greatest difficulty for me.
All what I ever stood for, all I ever supported and belived it, is all going to become a hollow sham. I am no good than the street urchin, lying, begging, stealing for the sake of his food. And I am hopeless, seriously suddenly I feel my entire body is drained out. I just want to sleep for sometime and not think of my difficult future.
All the best to me.
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