Saturday, April 23, 2016

For all the travels I was alone...

My journey through life has led me through both light and dark places, and it's because of those experiences that I have learned how to work through my character defects and to help others do the same. - Jessie Pavelka

But my entry is not the journey of life, rather the many journeys I have undertaken through my life. It is about the many paths I walked alone and walked with people beside me. I shall begin from the very beginning, that is if I can remember the old sequence of events.

Dating back to when I was this little kid, crazy about outdoors, hated baths, loved the sun, loved nature and  hated being home. Well somehow I had the privilege of being always out of the house. Being the ugly one among the sisters, was an advantage for me. Where my sister was (and still is) breath-taking beautiful, I was just a Tomboy roaming around in my shorts, with bob-cut hair and a dark complexion. Well as a kid, I somehow used to be happy about it and pray to the Almighty for bestowing such good luck on me, that I could roam freely. But then I had a great group of friends - Rishi (dude I don't know how to find you on FB or anywhere), Megha, Tony, Bujhu, Badi Babli, Choti Babli, Swarnali, Joy and so on. We used to play, run in the sun, get ourselves dirty and what not. And obviously I was the leader of our pack. I think back then, my Dad realized my potential and helped me build myself stronger and braver. I am grateful to him in every manner. By the way, my Dad spoiled me like anything. Wherever he would go, I would inevitably tag along with him. This specific time I remember, well my mom and dad remember in a much better way. As always Dad was going out on his scooter and he asked me to go along with him. But then Mom denied saying I need to finish my homework. I very excitedly said, Dad asked me to, I cannot say No to Dad. But to my surprise, my Dad also denied this time saying I should study. And guess what I could have said to Dad, "Joru ka Ghulam". I may have been 5/6/7, I don't remember, but yes I was very young to even know what that meant but I said it. Threw my slippers up in the air and ran to my room. Mom and Dad still make fun of me, saying how smart I was to use the term at the very appropriate moment. God, I wish I was that I was the small kid once again.

I come from a house where I had working parents, but it would always turn out to my benefit. This one time, Dad was pissed on me and Di, I don't remember what or why. But I remember him being angry. And giving a lecture to Di, maybe a slap or two, that I don't remember. Now when it was my turn to get the scoldings, I crack a stupid joke (obviously I don't remember the joke) but the moment Dad laughed, I knew no beatings, no scoldings for me. I knew I was Dad's favorite. And somehow I feel no shame in accepting the fact that I have been pampered so very much by Dad. He has always been by my side, he has been there when I made mistakes and helped me make them right. I love him till Death and beyond. I could have never asked for better parents.

Daddyji, my grandfather, was a very handsome looking inspiration figure in my life. His presence in our family ensured that everything happens in a prim and proper manner. He inspired me to use spoon and not to use hands while eating. And you know what, from Class 3, I have not had rice using my hands, it is always with the help of a spoon. Friends have obviously made fun of me while I do this, but then who cares. It was and is a good habit I learnt from him and I am willing to continue. Daddyji was this dynamic figure. Timsi di (the eldest of our generation) is obviously his favorite, but I was not far behind. I knew that he always pestered me if I slept for long on school days. He would visit us weekends and bring Chocolate cookies just for me. How can I forget all of it. How can I ever forget his cooking. My favorite being the Chicken Rice, whose taste lingers in my mouth but I also know, I can never ever get to eat anything like that ever again. He introduced us to mushrooms as a delicacy. Daddyji I miss you so very much and I wish you were here to see how your grandkids are doing. But I also know you are always there, helping us, guiding us through the tough times. Love you Daddyji.

Chaiji, my grandmother, the warmest person on this earth. A dedicated wife, a perfect mother, an amazing grandmother and above all a perfect human being. She was among the 1st Metric Pass during her days and that too 1st Class. We have her certificates still and also the newspaper cutting. She got married early or else she was offered sponsorship for higher studies, but her father had other plans. In a way I am glad, or else I would have never had Chaiji in my life. Chaiji's visit means Allu-Gobi Paranthas, namkeen chawal, aam ka aachar. I think my childhood would have an absolute waste had her food not been there. I miss you Chaiji the most. I remember watching Jism (A rated movie) with her, without any hesitation. You are and always be my best friend. Always encouraging, always helping and always that smile. I don't remember how many vacations I have spent over at your house and felt like being at home. When I started working, you were so proud of me. And I can only hope and wish that I am making you proud still. Always complimenting on how beautiful I am. But I also remember, growing up she was a little skeptical about me being so dark on complexion when compared to my sisters. But her fears were soon overcome with the many things I have accomplished over the years. I indeed miss having you around in my life. And I still miss the fact, that I was not able to say my last goodbye. I shall regret this till the last breath of my life. But I am happy and grateful that God choose me to be your granddaughter. You have taught me the meaning of love, forgiveness, compassion, being tolerant, being patient and yet standing up for myself. I love you for everything. And I miss you every moment of my life. The other day when I had done planchette with Mam, I knew it was you and I knew you are there somewhere around us. I miss you and I miss you the most. You were my best friend. You supported me through Ron and you supported me through T. You were my story teller granny. You used to take me around. I miss you Chaiji. I miss our outings together, me shopping for you, going out for movies (remember Jodha Akbar, just 2 days before my semesters). Remember Saari shopping for Bhaiya's wedding. Shoe shopping, bag shopping, everything. I miss you so very much, I think words are not enough to describe what you have been and what you are in my life. Love you Chaiji and thank you for everything. 

I guess I deviated a bit (a lot I guess) from the many travels I was supposed to describe. But I will be back with my travel accounts. Today I am just happy and I want it to be that way. 

Thank you Bhagwanji for bringing me to the famous Goswami family, with the many twists and turns in our lives and yet the strong ones. 

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