Poison...

It isn’t like I hate them or something. It just feels that it is a little unfair at times. But then no one ever told me that life was fair and that I would have a blast every time I make a move. Anyways I had this dream in the morning. Its weird how I still remember the details of it, but I do.

Here it goes…

I am coughing pretty badly. As always my throat is choked and I want to puke out the cough which is wriggling inside of me. I know it isn’t a pretty picture to begin with. But then I remember what exactly I saw and how I felt about it. It was as if everything was real. Nonetheless here I was trying to get the dirty cough out of me, when my brother walks in the bathroom. To my utter surprise I don’t see my own house, I see myself standing in my brother’s house, in his bathroom, with the new blue tiles and marbles all around me. I remember how much that bathroom would give me creeps. But after the renovation done, it looks amazing. I believe if one can’t keep the place of shit clean, they would never know how to clean the mess of their lives. Enough of the philosophy, back to where I was.

So I was coughing and trying to puke, when my brother enters the bathroom, obviously the door was open. As soon as my brother walked in the bathroom, I started puking. First there was the cough, I shouldn’t go to the graphical details of it, but soon it was all red. I was puking blood. And the amount of blood which came out of me wasn’t anything normal. I was coughing badly and puking blood like it was water. So obviously my brother and I were worried about this. But surprisingly we both kept calm and were thinking how to say about this to my parents. It was impossible to talk about this with my mother. So my brother broke the great news to my father. My dad also kept his calm and now all three of us were worried because there wasn’t any doctor and my coughing wasn’t ready to stop. So whenever I would cough severely there was blood which would come out.

I took a medium sized towel handkerchief, so as to leave no stains behind of blood. Anyways the main concern was to keep this all away from my mother. Then suddenly a doctor appeared in the house. Dad gave a very silly reason so that he and mom could go out of the house. While brother and I stayed back as the doctor attended to me. Looking at my condition he said I have lung cancer. As soon as he said so, I started choking and more blood came out of my mouth.

I don’t remember the exact end, but I messaged him, saying I love him and will miss him badly. There was no one else in the room, only me and me. I send out a few more messages and then I could feel a mild pain in my throat as I closed my eyes.

Don’t know what this means. Don’t know whether I was falling asleep or something else. All I know is the feeling of puking blood still lingers in my mouth. Its like I can taste blood still. A weird dream but I guess it has some meaning inside of it. Lately I am having lots of weird dreams. With so many things going on in my mind, don’t really know what exactly I should do...

No matter what I am smiling still. That is one thing which life has taught me never to give up on. Hoping for the best, expecting the worst… ;)