I remember the happy face, the smile which I didn’t realize back then was so big and wide. I remember leaving the porch of my house and running on the roads with my friends, I remember trying to arrange catwalks and to play all kinds of stupid games possible. I remember the birthday parties in my lawn, and even those birthdays when dad and mom couldn’t afford to arrange a grand party for me.
These memories are so very special that I know not how well to write about them and share it with others. I don’t think anyone deserves knowing about the real TRipti who used to laugh and enjoy her life, was not bothered about what others thought of her. She knew her family and friends would always be beside her. A happy girl. But sadly everyone else grew around her and she didn’t. She still wants to play and to run around, not thinking about what the others would say. All she wants is to be her. All she wants is life which she can enjoy without having to worry about things, without having to act mature every time.
Oh how I wish those days were back. As it known to many, I am the youngest member of our family. And hell yes, I was pampered a lot, especially by my dad and my grandfather. I miss those scooter rides with dad; I used to join him for almost all the rides possible, always tagging along with him, talking to him nonstop about a hundred stupid things. It was fun and perhaps the best time I spent with my dad. Most of the times we used to talk while riding on the scooter and guess what, we still do it. And Daddyji, my grandfather, he was an angel in disguise. I am a real unlucky person to have missed being more with him. But I remember the cream biscuits he would get me every time he would come to visit us. I would run around, jump and talk silly things. And yes I was a little scared of him as well.
Over the years a lot of things have changed. For starters, Daddyji left us. And for the first time I saw my dad cry. And also my elder sister and brother both are married now. Aishu has come into our lives and I am sure Daddyji would be upset not to have been able to see Aishu and met Jijz. How I wish Daddyji could have met him as well. Nonetheless things have changed.
I have grown up now. Well everyone else has and even I have. But now things aren’t the same. How can they ever be the same? Yet I thought I would be given my fair share of things. But now that I have grown up, everyone else has grown old. And being the mature and stronger one I have to give up. Well for once I hate being mature and strong. I too wish I was the carefree one, who could enjoy life and get her own sweet time to reach to things. I know it isn’t right to ask for things which I definitely don’t deserve but it seems like I am struck here forever and I can see no escape. My breathe chokes every time I think about it. Even if I don’t I know how I have still managed to breathe in this thick air. When will my sweet time come when I can leave in peace? When shall I see darkness and nothing further? When shall my weird dreams become a reality for me? And here I wait as always. I have changed a lot. A lot…
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