There have been so many times when you did something even when you never intended to do it in the first place. I myself have thought of doing so very many things but I don’t really know how to do them. But then I realize the fact that somehow or the other I have to do it, by hook or by crook. There are hell lots of things going on in my mind and I must admit that I don’t really know what will happen to me in near future. And life seriously is fucked up at the moment. But all I can hope to do now is enjoy it as much as possible before it is too late. Anyways I don’t really have much to say cause if I start speaking everything up then I would end up doing what not now. Hehehhe. Now that is a big big secret ;-)
So let’s all hope for the best and look forward to reaching the new horizon, the new set limits of the sky.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I am coming home to you...
Shit my cellphone isnt working and I lost everything I had written then and saved it up. That is so very unfair. And I just realised it when I sat to type it all out. I don't know the exact words nor would I sit to write them up cause sooner or later I will write it again. But maybe not today.
Life is seriously messed up and I don't know what to do and what not to. Anyways let me enjoy every bit of it and lets see how much I can really enjoy it. Till then cheers to love and life!!!!!!!!
Life is seriously messed up and I don't know what to do and what not to. Anyways let me enjoy every bit of it and lets see how much I can really enjoy it. Till then cheers to love and life!!!!!!!!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Is it over????
I do wonder at times how it would have felt had you been there beside me. How happy I could have been? How lovely everything would have been? But I try to hide my loneliness so that you don’t get to know about it and worry and yet you can’t see the real me. I feel animals are so much better because they ask for love and companionship and they get it and we complicated human beings can’t speak our minds. But the one fact which scares me a lot these days is that I might be misinterpreted most of the times when I open my mouth and speak my mind. So many people have changed because of petty misunderstandings. And politics has taken over feelings and emotions it seems but I try and be true to myself. Too much of it already I guess.
But I wonder how it would feel when someone might end up doing something for me and without even my asking for it. Maybe I am never supposed to go through that feeling but I know someday things will be the way I want them to be. Or maybe I am over thinking things. Whatever that maybe assuming the fact that I wouldn’t ever wait for you and you would be all alone… I tried my best never ever to do that. But today I am doing so because there’s a part in me who wants to see you wait for me, at least for once or even ask me but how would you cause I never voice my feelings. And I understand everything you have to say even when you don’t say anything at all. So why do I feel bad about all this today? Maybe because I am too good a person or maybe I am too selfish to see there are times when I was never around you, to be with you and be your comfort. What am I? Where am I going all alone? But will you ever be by my side when I would need you? Will you be there as I am always here? Will you ever or will I always be ready to give up a part of me so as to keep you happy and healthy and make you feel as if nothing really is wrong with me and that I am not human and lack feeling as if?
So many things yet remain unanswered and I desire no answers as well. Anyways life has always been weird and I try and enjoy it as much as possible even when I sit here all alone and with a stupid smile on my face.
“Jee le jee le jee le ishq mein
Marna hai to marr marr bhi le ishq mein”
:-)
But I wonder how it would feel when someone might end up doing something for me and without even my asking for it. Maybe I am never supposed to go through that feeling but I know someday things will be the way I want them to be. Or maybe I am over thinking things. Whatever that maybe assuming the fact that I wouldn’t ever wait for you and you would be all alone… I tried my best never ever to do that. But today I am doing so because there’s a part in me who wants to see you wait for me, at least for once or even ask me but how would you cause I never voice my feelings. And I understand everything you have to say even when you don’t say anything at all. So why do I feel bad about all this today? Maybe because I am too good a person or maybe I am too selfish to see there are times when I was never around you, to be with you and be your comfort. What am I? Where am I going all alone? But will you ever be by my side when I would need you? Will you be there as I am always here? Will you ever or will I always be ready to give up a part of me so as to keep you happy and healthy and make you feel as if nothing really is wrong with me and that I am not human and lack feeling as if?
So many things yet remain unanswered and I desire no answers as well. Anyways life has always been weird and I try and enjoy it as much as possible even when I sit here all alone and with a stupid smile on my face.
“Jee le jee le jee le ishq mein
Marna hai to marr marr bhi le ishq mein”
:-)
Friday, September 19, 2008
Maybe its true........
So finally I seem to resume my writing. Past few days have been real hectic for me and I was damn tired to do anything else except go off to sleep once when I reach hone. And I am still yawning as I type this all out. Our Pastiche is on this very Monday and we all are very excited about it. Busy with practices, costumes and very damn thing that is possible. I seriously hope that it is a big success and I surely am looking forward to it. Nothing else, just that the college is really keeping me busy for the past few days and some really close friends are coming closer and some good friends are behaving not so good with me (which definitely hurts but I seem to be at a loss since the friend isn’t interested in listening me out). Anyways the bottom-line is I am busy busy busy. ;-)
My First Friend [FF] has had a dream recently about me and something more and read on you will get to know more about it. It goes like this: One fine day I, my FF along with two other friends and PH are supposed to catch a train to some place and we are running late so we are frantically looking for our platform. Well a small twist, FF sees PH but she addresses him as Rats. Though in her dream she thinks it’s Rats who is accompanying us but whenever she looks at him its PH. Anyways back to where we were. We were looking for the platform and suddenly I see there’s our platform and there are two ways top catch the train and already we are running late as well. So the crazy and active me crosses over from one platform to other to catch the train and I am damn successful in doing it. As for the rest four, as FF insists they take the longer route of reaching towards the train and as a result they miss it. After this I am not to be seen any more since I am already in the train and have left them all behind. So FF, PH and two of my other friends are left behind. Once the train leaves FF looks at PH and finds that the stupid boy is frowning and sad-sad. And as any other typical Bollywood movie FF asks him that does he loves her? And the inevitable Yes happens. And FF laughs at him and hits him softly in the head saying when will he tell her about it and he says that he has to do so soon or else she would be gone forever.
Here my sweet friend’s dream ends. Superb naa??? A typical mixture of DDLJ and Jab We Met.
Anyways that was my friend’s dream and she wanted me to write about it in my blog. I had said that soon I would be writing about two of the movies I have enjoyed a lot but it seems my busy and hectic schedule is not permitting me to think much outside whatever is going around me. It seems that soon my brain will explode and come out. I am eagerly waiting for the day. There is a hell lot to say but my words seem limited today. Some of my friends would kill me for not coming online regularly these days, some of them must be happy not to see me at all and some are all too keen to pass their judgment onto me. I know future can never be predicted but I believe in living in the moment. So let me enjoy my present rather than scheme about the future as those great negative characters in K soaps. ;-P Life surely is funny. It gives things at the most unexpected moments. And by the way after reading my blog many say that Nature Boy must be a serious crush of mine but I would not like to discuss about him with anyone and would write anything and everything about him as and when I like. By the way these days he is spotted without a cap and finally I get to see his face properly and he is worth looking at but then there are things to be thought of. This wicked grin on my face has surely scared someone. But it’s funny and sweet at the same time. My life seems topsy-turvy at the moment but I am enjoying this joyride a lot and seriously right now all I am bothered about is how well can I enjoy it since I might have loads and loads of things to consider and think about. And since I have got a life outside my daily college life I have to consider a hell lot about it too. There are things I so want to write about but its impossible talking about it with anyone at all. So what I do is smile till I know I can’t carry on and then I ….
My First Friend [FF] has had a dream recently about me and something more and read on you will get to know more about it. It goes like this: One fine day I, my FF along with two other friends and PH are supposed to catch a train to some place and we are running late so we are frantically looking for our platform. Well a small twist, FF sees PH but she addresses him as Rats. Though in her dream she thinks it’s Rats who is accompanying us but whenever she looks at him its PH. Anyways back to where we were. We were looking for the platform and suddenly I see there’s our platform and there are two ways top catch the train and already we are running late as well. So the crazy and active me crosses over from one platform to other to catch the train and I am damn successful in doing it. As for the rest four, as FF insists they take the longer route of reaching towards the train and as a result they miss it. After this I am not to be seen any more since I am already in the train and have left them all behind. So FF, PH and two of my other friends are left behind. Once the train leaves FF looks at PH and finds that the stupid boy is frowning and sad-sad. And as any other typical Bollywood movie FF asks him that does he loves her? And the inevitable Yes happens. And FF laughs at him and hits him softly in the head saying when will he tell her about it and he says that he has to do so soon or else she would be gone forever.
Here my sweet friend’s dream ends. Superb naa??? A typical mixture of DDLJ and Jab We Met.
Anyways that was my friend’s dream and she wanted me to write about it in my blog. I had said that soon I would be writing about two of the movies I have enjoyed a lot but it seems my busy and hectic schedule is not permitting me to think much outside whatever is going around me. It seems that soon my brain will explode and come out. I am eagerly waiting for the day. There is a hell lot to say but my words seem limited today. Some of my friends would kill me for not coming online regularly these days, some of them must be happy not to see me at all and some are all too keen to pass their judgment onto me. I know future can never be predicted but I believe in living in the moment. So let me enjoy my present rather than scheme about the future as those great negative characters in K soaps. ;-P Life surely is funny. It gives things at the most unexpected moments. And by the way after reading my blog many say that Nature Boy must be a serious crush of mine but I would not like to discuss about him with anyone and would write anything and everything about him as and when I like. By the way these days he is spotted without a cap and finally I get to see his face properly and he is worth looking at but then there are things to be thought of. This wicked grin on my face has surely scared someone. But it’s funny and sweet at the same time. My life seems topsy-turvy at the moment but I am enjoying this joyride a lot and seriously right now all I am bothered about is how well can I enjoy it since I might have loads and loads of things to consider and think about. And since I have got a life outside my daily college life I have to consider a hell lot about it too. There are things I so want to write about but its impossible talking about it with anyone at all. So what I do is smile till I know I can’t carry on and then I ….
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Have to write so much but don’t exactly know how to start or where to start from? But still I am typing things out without any real intent of recalling them exactly as they happened.
By the way Nature Boy seems good these days, his dressing sense has kind of improved. Still very tall and very kool. ;-) And as for the Green Goblin he has got a Blue flu, i.e., he is wearing blue these days and still the same old idiot, stupid, jungle. Got to know another NB and seems nice and sweet.
I tend to fall asleep to easily cause of the stupid medicines I so hate. Still a lot of work left to be done but somehow things don’t ever just happen to me like it happens to others and makes their life simpler. Anyways don’t really am in the mood for more crap so let me fall into the darkness along with the death of my dreams. Stupid lines just came to my mind. :-P
By the way Nature Boy seems good these days, his dressing sense has kind of improved. Still very tall and very kool. ;-) And as for the Green Goblin he has got a Blue flu, i.e., he is wearing blue these days and still the same old idiot, stupid, jungle. Got to know another NB and seems nice and sweet.
I tend to fall asleep to easily cause of the stupid medicines I so hate. Still a lot of work left to be done but somehow things don’t ever just happen to me like it happens to others and makes their life simpler. Anyways don’t really am in the mood for more crap so let me fall into the darkness along with the death of my dreams. Stupid lines just came to my mind. :-P
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Aaacccchhhooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!
What an extraordinary day it was? Awesome, mind blowing and rubbish. Today was the mid-semesters (one of those weapons society points at us to see how well or how badly one can crumble and collapse so that the society can jeer and mock at them). I was kind of ok with my preparations, must say it wasn’t as great as it could have been, all the blame goes to me and my lazy bones. :-P
Anyways since we knew that metro won’t be plying for the day one of my friends bought her car to give us a lift till college. It was very considerate of her and we all agreed to it. But my stupid, dumb luck always comes in between my happiness. What happened was something really unexpected. I entered the exam room and took my place and was kind of fine with the questions (must say some of them were expected) and sat with the answer sheets. And within fifteen minutes of bliss and contentment on getting a good question paper, but something seemed to interfere and create a commotion for not just me but the people around me.
How would you feel when while writing the answers, for the first time when you feel you are all prepared and ready to write non-stop and in fact have already started writing the answers when in the middle of nowhere a person starts sneezing? All your concentration seems to be messed up and seems to mingle with the incredible aaaccccccccchhhhoooonnnnnnn!!!!! Rubbish it is, no doubts about it. Anyone would be pissed off because of that (and maybe some where actually pissed off though didn’t seem to voice their annoyance). It feels as if someone should go and stop the nuisance and ask the person to leave the room and just get lost.
But would anyone think of the person who had no fault at it and still kept on sneezing for three hours and that too because she had traveled in an A.C. car??? It’s something which she is not used to but still it wasn’t as if A.C. would have such adverse effect on her that she becomes a topic for others to be laughed and mocked at. People continuously staring at her and she trying her best not to create a mess in the class.
That is exactly what happened to me today. I couldn’t bloody write my paper properly because I was sneezing non-stop in the examination hall. And believe me it feels like shit trying badly to avoid it and yet not being able to do so. I must have sneezed for at least 50 times throughout the day. Fuck man! And because of the stupid shitty cold I couldn’t even concentrate on whatever I was writing. What could have been a good paper has turned out to be a bad paper cause it seems I didn’t even bother to complete my answers and was in a hurry to leave the room since I was not feeling well.
But I should thank all those who had to bear the burden of my sneezes all through the exam-time and didn’t seem to complain about it. Some even took the pains of asking me what was wrong with me. But even I, myself was unable to find an answer to their questions since it definitely wasn’t the first time I had traveled in A.C. car nor has a minor change in the room temperature affected me so much.
So I ran out of the room (after submitting my paper) and go to have a coffee and what the fuck, I am alright after drinking the bloody coffee? All the nautanki had to be inside the exam hall when I was so keen on finishing my paper and not just that was confident I would do pretty well. And here everything goes to shit. Even the Profs must have laughed at me sitting there sneezing for innumerable number of times, creating a kind of commotion in the class. My friend even apologized for bringing me along in the A.C. car and I felt bad for her since she was feeling bad for me. :-( But what is done is done and no one is to be blamed for whatever happened today. I believe everything happens for a reason and even though I am not sure why all this happened with me today, but I seriously believe that there must have been some master plan by the Almighty and I was a part of it all. Oh! How much I hated the day. I know I could have done well but now nothing will come out of nothing. So it’s even useless trying to think about whatever passed today. It’s long gone and has ended already.
By the way my Guardian Angel is much better now and has recovered a lot. Thanks for praying for him. Wish you all great love and luck in life.
I will soon be writing about two of the movies which I had liked a lot. One is a Korean movie- The Classic and another if our very own desi-Bollywood movie -Sawaariyan. I know that the choice of Sawaariyan is a little weird but frankly speaking I had loved the movie and finally I will be writing about it. Till then everyone go ahead and enjoy.
Cheers!!!
My longest post till yet. ;-) [899words]
Anyways since we knew that metro won’t be plying for the day one of my friends bought her car to give us a lift till college. It was very considerate of her and we all agreed to it. But my stupid, dumb luck always comes in between my happiness. What happened was something really unexpected. I entered the exam room and took my place and was kind of fine with the questions (must say some of them were expected) and sat with the answer sheets. And within fifteen minutes of bliss and contentment on getting a good question paper, but something seemed to interfere and create a commotion for not just me but the people around me.
How would you feel when while writing the answers, for the first time when you feel you are all prepared and ready to write non-stop and in fact have already started writing the answers when in the middle of nowhere a person starts sneezing? All your concentration seems to be messed up and seems to mingle with the incredible aaaccccccccchhhhoooonnnnnnn!!!!! Rubbish it is, no doubts about it. Anyone would be pissed off because of that (and maybe some where actually pissed off though didn’t seem to voice their annoyance). It feels as if someone should go and stop the nuisance and ask the person to leave the room and just get lost.
But would anyone think of the person who had no fault at it and still kept on sneezing for three hours and that too because she had traveled in an A.C. car??? It’s something which she is not used to but still it wasn’t as if A.C. would have such adverse effect on her that she becomes a topic for others to be laughed and mocked at. People continuously staring at her and she trying her best not to create a mess in the class.
That is exactly what happened to me today. I couldn’t bloody write my paper properly because I was sneezing non-stop in the examination hall. And believe me it feels like shit trying badly to avoid it and yet not being able to do so. I must have sneezed for at least 50 times throughout the day. Fuck man! And because of the stupid shitty cold I couldn’t even concentrate on whatever I was writing. What could have been a good paper has turned out to be a bad paper cause it seems I didn’t even bother to complete my answers and was in a hurry to leave the room since I was not feeling well.
But I should thank all those who had to bear the burden of my sneezes all through the exam-time and didn’t seem to complain about it. Some even took the pains of asking me what was wrong with me. But even I, myself was unable to find an answer to their questions since it definitely wasn’t the first time I had traveled in A.C. car nor has a minor change in the room temperature affected me so much.
So I ran out of the room (after submitting my paper) and go to have a coffee and what the fuck, I am alright after drinking the bloody coffee? All the nautanki had to be inside the exam hall when I was so keen on finishing my paper and not just that was confident I would do pretty well. And here everything goes to shit. Even the Profs must have laughed at me sitting there sneezing for innumerable number of times, creating a kind of commotion in the class. My friend even apologized for bringing me along in the A.C. car and I felt bad for her since she was feeling bad for me. :-( But what is done is done and no one is to be blamed for whatever happened today. I believe everything happens for a reason and even though I am not sure why all this happened with me today, but I seriously believe that there must have been some master plan by the Almighty and I was a part of it all. Oh! How much I hated the day. I know I could have done well but now nothing will come out of nothing. So it’s even useless trying to think about whatever passed today. It’s long gone and has ended already.
By the way my Guardian Angel is much better now and has recovered a lot. Thanks for praying for him. Wish you all great love and luck in life.
I will soon be writing about two of the movies which I had liked a lot. One is a Korean movie- The Classic and another if our very own desi-Bollywood movie -Sawaariyan. I know that the choice of Sawaariyan is a little weird but frankly speaking I had loved the movie and finally I will be writing about it. Till then everyone go ahead and enjoy.
Cheers!!!
My longest post till yet. ;-) [899words]
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