I do wonder at times how it would have felt had you been there beside me. How happy I could have been? How lovely everything would have been? But I try to hide my loneliness so that you don’t get to know about it and worry and yet you can’t see the real me. I feel animals are so much better because they ask for love and companionship and they get it and we complicated human beings can’t speak our minds. But the one fact which scares me a lot these days is that I might be misinterpreted most of the times when I open my mouth and speak my mind. So many people have changed because of petty misunderstandings. And politics has taken over feelings and emotions it seems but I try and be true to myself. Too much of it already I guess.
But I wonder how it would feel when someone might end up doing something for me and without even my asking for it. Maybe I am never supposed to go through that feeling but I know someday things will be the way I want them to be. Or maybe I am over thinking things. Whatever that maybe assuming the fact that I wouldn’t ever wait for you and you would be all alone… I tried my best never ever to do that. But today I am doing so because there’s a part in me who wants to see you wait for me, at least for once or even ask me but how would you cause I never voice my feelings. And I understand everything you have to say even when you don’t say anything at all. So why do I feel bad about all this today? Maybe because I am too good a person or maybe I am too selfish to see there are times when I was never around you, to be with you and be your comfort. What am I? Where am I going all alone? But will you ever be by my side when I would need you? Will you be there as I am always here? Will you ever or will I always be ready to give up a part of me so as to keep you happy and healthy and make you feel as if nothing really is wrong with me and that I am not human and lack feeling as if?
So many things yet remain unanswered and I desire no answers as well. Anyways life has always been weird and I try and enjoy it as much as possible even when I sit here all alone and with a stupid smile on my face.
“Jee le jee le jee le ishq mein
Marna hai to marr marr bhi le ishq mein”
:-)
But I wonder how it would feel when someone might end up doing something for me and without even my asking for it. Maybe I am never supposed to go through that feeling but I know someday things will be the way I want them to be. Or maybe I am over thinking things. Whatever that maybe assuming the fact that I wouldn’t ever wait for you and you would be all alone… I tried my best never ever to do that. But today I am doing so because there’s a part in me who wants to see you wait for me, at least for once or even ask me but how would you cause I never voice my feelings. And I understand everything you have to say even when you don’t say anything at all. So why do I feel bad about all this today? Maybe because I am too good a person or maybe I am too selfish to see there are times when I was never around you, to be with you and be your comfort. What am I? Where am I going all alone? But will you ever be by my side when I would need you? Will you be there as I am always here? Will you ever or will I always be ready to give up a part of me so as to keep you happy and healthy and make you feel as if nothing really is wrong with me and that I am not human and lack feeling as if?
So many things yet remain unanswered and I desire no answers as well. Anyways life has always been weird and I try and enjoy it as much as possible even when I sit here all alone and with a stupid smile on my face.
“Jee le jee le jee le ishq mein
Marna hai to marr marr bhi le ishq mein”
:-)
2 comments:
I love you bubalaboo!!!
I love you too, sweety!
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