Another day of this January. I don't really know what I am upto. Back at home, dad thinks I have clue as to what I am doing. I want to make progress, prove my worth, but I do not know whether or not I have taken the right path. At times I do have my confusions regarding the many decisions I have taken. Let's see what will happen. Bhagwanji is there and I trust Him inside out. Let Him surprise me. But please Bhagwanji let it be a pleasant surprise.
Tomorrow is the wedding of one of my cousins whom I have never ever met in my life. Let's see how that turns out to be. In fact I was not even ready for a wedding and have to wear my birthday dress, which I so did not want to. Anyways I hope something better will turn out for me.
Bangalore has been treating me fine,nothing extravagant as of yet. I have already fallen sick once, the stupid PG wala was not even getting the geyser fixed and the food,it isn't bad but then its not home food. I have forgotten the taste of paranthas. I wish Mom was here. I definitely miss home and the kids, my babies, cannot even hug them and look at them and smile. DJ and Dodo are definitely angry on me for leaving like that. I wish they all were here with me. But then I have a career to make and I want to prove my worth. I want mom and dad to be proud of me once again and I trust my Bhagwanji that this time He will not let me fail.
By the way, Bangalore is a let down, no good looking crowd. It is just average just like Kolkata but at least I am happy that I am out of the hell hole where people all are selfish and jealous and mean and can only wish for things which can harm one. Whenever I think about them, all I get it negativity and I wish I could somehow do away with it. I wish I could erase the past and someday this will all just be a distant memory, with no value or importance attached to it. I am waiting for the day when I can leave everything behind me and I can be myself completely, inside out, without any pretensions and can let go. Please let that day come soon.
Lastly it seems like my so called friends, were never my friend. Even after leaving the city, no one misses me, which is kind of strange and weird. I expected a handful to at least miss me, but then I am always disappointed when it comes to expectations as I keep wrong expectations from wrong people. So I guess they are in a way happy to get rid of me. Good for me as well, as long as they are happy I should be happy for them too.
Thank You Bhagwanji for everything. Love You and please take care of my family. I miss them and I love them a lot.
Tomorrow is the wedding of one of my cousins whom I have never ever met in my life. Let's see how that turns out to be. In fact I was not even ready for a wedding and have to wear my birthday dress, which I so did not want to. Anyways I hope something better will turn out for me.
Bangalore has been treating me fine,nothing extravagant as of yet. I have already fallen sick once, the stupid PG wala was not even getting the geyser fixed and the food,it isn't bad but then its not home food. I have forgotten the taste of paranthas. I wish Mom was here. I definitely miss home and the kids, my babies, cannot even hug them and look at them and smile. DJ and Dodo are definitely angry on me for leaving like that. I wish they all were here with me. But then I have a career to make and I want to prove my worth. I want mom and dad to be proud of me once again and I trust my Bhagwanji that this time He will not let me fail.
By the way, Bangalore is a let down, no good looking crowd. It is just average just like Kolkata but at least I am happy that I am out of the hell hole where people all are selfish and jealous and mean and can only wish for things which can harm one. Whenever I think about them, all I get it negativity and I wish I could somehow do away with it. I wish I could erase the past and someday this will all just be a distant memory, with no value or importance attached to it. I am waiting for the day when I can leave everything behind me and I can be myself completely, inside out, without any pretensions and can let go. Please let that day come soon.
Lastly it seems like my so called friends, were never my friend. Even after leaving the city, no one misses me, which is kind of strange and weird. I expected a handful to at least miss me, but then I am always disappointed when it comes to expectations as I keep wrong expectations from wrong people. So I guess they are in a way happy to get rid of me. Good for me as well, as long as they are happy I should be happy for them too.
Thank You Bhagwanji for everything. Love You and please take care of my family. I miss them and I love them a lot.
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