Contemplating about the past only seems to reduce the
importance of the present, the very presence of things in front of us right
here, right now. And presuming about the future only makes us neglect the very
presence of things and people who are living with us in the very present.
Well to tell the absolute truth it is our own self who wants
to do what it actually feels like. Marveling at the gone and worrying about the
coming is what keeps us from enjoying what we have in this very present. But then
you can never forget those glorious days of your life when you thought you had
championed the very art of living and in the very present you were shattered
and scattered that the only relief you get is from living in the past. But is
this the right direction one should head towards? Is it the right path to dwell
and make living in the present a lot easier? Isn’t it just a means to escape
from whatever is going around now? But then doesn’t it give you strength enough
to endure the present and hope that soon your glorious past will be championed
once again and that you shall once again be the winner you used to be?
So many questions and so many more questions left to be
asked and to be answered, in that sequence essentially. And yet we somehow
manage to live and survive in this hell hole, hoping and praying (not always
though) that someday everything will be as we desire it to be, that we can be happy with whatever we
have and that we can gain a lot more, and hell lot more out of it. But then isn’t
that just an illusion, a dream we dream of so often that it has become like a
memory now which shall never happen again?
Fearing the coming is so very common in most of the human
species that at times we tend to even lose our basic senses thinking about
something which is yet to happen. And most of the times (let’s say 99% out of
100%) whatever happens is just the opposite of what we had been dreading all
the while. Reminiscing the past and hoping for a better future is one of the
most sort after part time hobby of Homo sapiens. And that is exactly what I am
indulging into at this very moment and well I can’t seem to help myself from
realizing the fact that my past was way better than what I am facing at this
present moment (and by that I don’t mean my lappy’s screen….on a lighter note).
And yes I dread whatever is waiting in the future for me because I am unsure of
the security of my future and I don’t know whether I will be able to endure
being a loser for such a long time. My strength already has started giving up
on me; I am unsure whether or not I will be able to hold onto it any longer. Will
I be strong enough to face the future with a smile on my face and act as if
nothing affects me, as if I am super strong that even the hurts and the pain
would just bypass me?
Many of my fears are hidden (for some it might be all
see-through) in the lines above. Some of my worst secrets have been revealed
which I know has always been unnoticed by those around me and yet I manage to
stand strong on my feet, all alone and yet full of I, me and myself.
Here’s me hoping for a better 2013 where self realization doesn’t
lets me down and when I can choose what is good for me and not what is good for
others. This is the year to selfish and to bypass the fears and live life to
its fullest. All the very best to me…
Cheers….!!!!!!!
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