Its really been long that I have shared my feelings with anyone. Friends have slowly and steadily been going away from me and that too no fault of mine. The worst part I have no one to turn to, who can hug me and hear me out cry. Why Cry? Well to begin with from the middle of this year things have been going haywire. I have been accused, been called names (trust me names which I would not even dare to use for even my enemies), and all this happened in front of my parents. My very dear and lovely parents who would have never ever dream in their worst nightmares, that they would have to face anything like this. My respect and reputation in my office has been lost long back but in front of my parents and my family, that was something I had never anticipated. If only I had been a little more clever enough and heard my parents and never ever indulged in any kind of relationship. I hardly mix my professional life with my personal life. But such turn of events have caused much turmoil in both my professional and my personal life. Thanks to my dearest parents who have stood by me since day one and still have faith and trust in me. I know it is very difficult for them, yet they are here for me and I will always be grateful to God for sending me to such great parents. I love them a lot.
Amidst all this rubbishness I have lost a lot of my friends. Well its a price I pay for believing and trusting someone blindly, I have never been fooled this well in my life. Anyways so friends have been leaving my side and I cannot really say anything to them. At best each day I pray for their well being and I hope everyone does great in their own lives.
Now for the worst news of all, I lost my dearest Grandmother, my Chaiji this year. O! how I wish she would not have suffered like this. I know she is happy wherever she is, but her pain and suffering, I could not stand it. And I realized that at the end of the day we all are alone in our pain and our sufferings. I will always miss her and I wish her a happy journey.
I could not cry you know, I had no one to turn towards and cry. I had to be strong for my family, for my father who did everything he could, for my mother because she was so close to Chaiji and had dedicated her life for her. I could not cry because then it would have hurt my Chaiji who knows I am very strong. Every day before going to office, she would ensure to look at me and compliment me, will definitely say that I am looking good and that I have grown up so much, so soon. I am about to join back office and I seriously don't feel like looking good anymore because besides her hardly has anyone noticed me. But I know she is observing me from every nook and corner. I may not have been her favorite grandchild nor have I cried the most on her last farewell, but I know she understands and wants me to be strong, for my parents, for my family, to keep them busy and happy.
I want such a tight hug now and I don't even know who I can turn towards to. Because frankly none of my friends understand, nor do they have the inclination to stand by my side to see through me.
Now is the time when I change a little more. Things will be different from here on. I will not be the same. I know I cannot be the same anymore. I have so much to do and so little time left with me. Wish me great luck Bhagwanji, I need it this time. Please be by my side the way you have always been. Here is to life, with all of its ups and downs.
Amidst all this rubbishness I have lost a lot of my friends. Well its a price I pay for believing and trusting someone blindly, I have never been fooled this well in my life. Anyways so friends have been leaving my side and I cannot really say anything to them. At best each day I pray for their well being and I hope everyone does great in their own lives.
Now for the worst news of all, I lost my dearest Grandmother, my Chaiji this year. O! how I wish she would not have suffered like this. I know she is happy wherever she is, but her pain and suffering, I could not stand it. And I realized that at the end of the day we all are alone in our pain and our sufferings. I will always miss her and I wish her a happy journey.
I could not cry you know, I had no one to turn towards and cry. I had to be strong for my family, for my father who did everything he could, for my mother because she was so close to Chaiji and had dedicated her life for her. I could not cry because then it would have hurt my Chaiji who knows I am very strong. Every day before going to office, she would ensure to look at me and compliment me, will definitely say that I am looking good and that I have grown up so much, so soon. I am about to join back office and I seriously don't feel like looking good anymore because besides her hardly has anyone noticed me. But I know she is observing me from every nook and corner. I may not have been her favorite grandchild nor have I cried the most on her last farewell, but I know she understands and wants me to be strong, for my parents, for my family, to keep them busy and happy.
I want such a tight hug now and I don't even know who I can turn towards to. Because frankly none of my friends understand, nor do they have the inclination to stand by my side to see through me.
Now is the time when I change a little more. Things will be different from here on. I will not be the same. I know I cannot be the same anymore. I have so much to do and so little time left with me. Wish me great luck Bhagwanji, I need it this time. Please be by my side the way you have always been. Here is to life, with all of its ups and downs.
