So here I am once again speaking after ages about I, me and
myself. Well life is so damn funny, you can never predict what is going to be
the next situation life is going to throw at you and all you can do is catch it
and sustain it and survive it. Anyways philosophy can be left for other days. Here
to share a few things which have been in my mind for quite sometime now.
One is already married and the other one is on the verge of getting
married. It seems like I am the only one who is left to dwell on her own. Well it
wasn’t like I was so very dependent on them that I will not be able to survive
on my own but just that without them I don’t know who else to fall back on. People
say when you are in a relationship, friends drift away. I have been in a
relationship for quite sometime now and have tried my best to keep a balance
between my love and my friends. And luckily enough all of my friends have a
liking towards my love and prove the very fact that love and friends can
survive together. A good combination indeed, as some would like to describe,
best of both worlds. But at times you actually will need a friend to share
everything with and I am right now missing that the most. Friends have always
been an essential part of my being and without friends I kind of feel
incomplete. It is true that I go and retrieve to my shell whenever I don’t have
my friends around but there are times when I want to be heard and understood
and not always be misunderstood. With both my pillars gone, it is kind of tough
for me. And frankly speaking no one, and mark me on this, absolutely no one can
take the position of my dearos. I will love you guys and cherish every moment
spent till the end of life. And I wish you both the best of health, love and
life.
Then comes this very dear friend of mine, who, I came to
know about today only, deleted me from her facebook friend list. Now I know
facebook is not the end of the world or anything. But it is like, she has every
other person, people she doesn’t even talk to, in her friend list and choose to
delete me. Well I agree I have never been too good a friend for her, but what
about the days when I stood up for her, when I fought for her and tried to do
things the way she would like it and that she would be happy. Well it is not
like I am asking her to give the love I gave her in return of my friendship. I am
just kind of hurt and disappointed because I thought we are above all of that. But
now it seems like I am not even her friend anymore so why should I mourn and
cry, why should I feel hurt when in the true sense of the term, I had never
ever been her friend. Well to put it in a better way I treated her like a
friend to me, tried to help her in the best of her interests, stood by her
whenever she needed a friend and now it has come to this. Anyways it is gone
and all the memories which I was so very fond of, will now seem like regret. If
only I could know what I had done to deserve such a cold shoulder. And a funny
observation, whenever I write a poem about someone, that someone is bound to
leave me and not just leave me, hurt me, push me, bruise me, scratch me, and
then leave. I guess I should just stop everything; frankly speaking I should
just stop living. Is that even possible? Please Bhagwanji for once prove me
right and do the possible for me. And believe me that would be the end of me,
as you know it.
Anyways I am way too
hurt, disappointed and sad today to even think things right. I so wish I was
the kid who is lost now. Why life had to be so very tough? If only….
