There is nothing new I will be typing today. It will be the
same old cribbing about life, the same old unmet expectations, and the same old
me with the same old sad song of life. Well you know what let’s just laugh at
me for today and also look for a sad song for myself if possible.
No matter how many times I am hurt, battered and bruised by
people, I will still have the same level of expectations from each one of them.
This is seriously annoying as well as dumb of me because firstly, no two people
are alike, secondly, expectations are meant to be broken, and thirdly, who the
hell gave me a right to expect things from others? This is the basics, and yet
it seems like I need to be reminded about them time and again. Well as they
say, old habits die hard. But by the end of the day I will ensure than either
these habits die or else, well, someone should die no matter what.
I haven’t come up with a song as of yet… still thinking on
it.
How dumb and stupid a person can be, especially a person who
thinks of herself as amongst the smart ones. It’s all just a sham. Just to
appear cool and funny in front of others, one has to pretend to be strong. But then
it actually goes with my image, so can’t argue on that. Who cares if I gave up
on some of my choices in life, who cares if I am sick and don’t feel like doing
something, just because I won’t speak up and make the other person realize, it’s
all useless. Show off and exaggeration should be a trait one should follow
rigorously in life not just for the survival of the fittest, but also be one
amongst the best-est for your boss/ friends/ love and at times family too. I
can’t forget it ever how family melts towards that child of the house who seems
to always be unwell. But when genuinely the other, stronger child is unwell,
the house does not even realize it. I hate being the strong child of the house;
it gives one the undue disadvantage of being neglected all the time. But I guess
that is how life is always meant to be unfair, biased towards the fair ones,
and literally the fair color people seem to get off with anything and
everything. Its time I get a plastic surgery done on myself to change my color
and be more acceptable amongst others.
Heart, no matter how hard it beats, should always be broken.
It doesn’t matter if you feel for someone, what should matter is that you are
alive because of the stupid heart which beats. I wish someone can take the life
out of me and let me live in void, in the silence and the calm. I believe death
would be something like it, but how should I know, I am still alive.
Somehow I am reminded of the song, “Who let the dogs out?” I
will have to check for its lyrics to determine if it can be the sad song of my
life. I know it by no means sounds sad, but it’s the truth, we keep on asking “Who
let the dogs out?” when we ourselves have unleashed the dogs.
Many a times my heart and brain fight over petty issues.
Frankly I do not know whether I am a heart person or a brain person. It seems
like both the organs are working fine and are always ready to counter each
other. Like two celebrities fighting over a pending decision in a reality show.
Wow, image heart and brain fighting like over a piece of chicken tikka. Heart,
don’t eat it, the poor chicken must have gone through a lot; Brain, Wow, it
looks yummy, a little spicy, yet who cares, have it…!!! But no matter what my
heart and brain are like those stupid judges who will fight about anything and
everything possible on earth. And that is one of the major reasons why I end up
being confused about life and things around me. Well as if I was the sanest
amongst all. It’s better to be as far away from sanity as possible, it at least
keeps you alive.
“Who let the dogs out?” is a good song no doubts, but it
cannot be my sad song, because it is more about boning than about anything else.
I will have to look for another song. I guess “Lonely is the night” will be a
good selection. It is a good song indeed and goes well with me. It’s a song
between my heart and brain, I with me.
That is all the fun for today. Some other day, some other
time, will laugh on my stupidities one again. Till then take care and get well
soon dumie, it is starting to take a toll on your health now. :)
