This is all I can take...

For a change I wish life was simple. All these complications, the miscommunications, everything seems to get on my nerves. If someone is talking loudly beside me it feels like someone’s stabbing me with a sharp knife slowly, very very slowly. I don’t know why but it seems like I am running out of escapes these days. No matter how much I try and keep myself calm, things somehow are just not working right.

I am losing my mind literally. I don’t know who I can talk to and discuss because no matter what people will think I have gone crazy. And right now I am feeling nothing less than super crazy. I just cannot keep my mind occupied with anything. I am losing interest on just about everything. I guess I have been successful in confusing Bhagwanji Himself that even now He has no solution left for me and so I am left on my own to perish on my own. This was going to happen someday or the other and I guess the time has come finally.

I know whatever I right now will make no sense. But frankly that is how I am feeling right now, senseless…

See you all later then, when I am successful in gaining my senses back. Till then live and perish in craziness.

I have this Life...

A happy thought, a cheerful smile

The longest roads, we walk for a while

The morning sky and bright sunshine

And then I know I have this life.

The saddest thoughts with tears in eyes

My favorite book, blank inside

My favorite song, I hear no cry

And then I know I have this life.

The strangers I meet everyday besides

The conversations, all so very high

The smiles I fake and all those lies

And then I know I have this life.

A new friendship to accept with a smile

To get used to a face just in time

The next thing I need is You

And then I know I have this life.

The chubby cheeks and a smile so wide

The looks I get with those naughty eyes

A smell so sweet, makes me wonder inside

What would I do, without you in my life?!?!?!

What should I do?!?!?!

A lot has happened over the past few days. Well definitely it was just a few days of my life which passed by me but frankly it seems like I have aged over these few days and grown older and somehow more pathetic. A lot has happened over these past few days, somethings good, somethings bad, somethings worth remembering, somethings only hurting, nonetheless each something has left behind a memory, perhaps a smile or a tear to cheer back at. But now as I look back to these past few days I wonder how did I even manage to face such days all alone. It is not that I was abandoned by my friends and family, but it was the phase of the life when I prefer to stay inside my cocoon and somehow I survived, and ironically I am still the caterpillar and not the butterfly.

Nonetheless today is his birthday and frankly I should only be concentrating about the good things today. Strangely enough when I sat to write him a poem, I just could not come up with words. It is like I have a block in my head and somehow I am short of the appropriate words to frame into proper sentences which would make even the most commonest of senses. Here I go blabbering again.

Well all I want is for him to be happy and to get the best of what he truly deserves, all the good things, mind it. Right now I am not the best of my moods or I am sure I would have come up with some really nice words to match my feeling. So here I end my short evaluation about what I should be doing. Yet more is to come and more is to be decided about what I need to be doing. As of now I need to rest my head and go off to sleep. So good night to me and good luck to everyone.


P.S. I miss being myself...!!! Wish you and I could share some more memories together. :)