Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Why???

So my dear Guardian Angel is hurt and all because of me. Why the hell I have to be so demanding all the times? Why can’t for once I be happy with whatever little I have? Why the hell do I have to ask for more and more from him all the time and pester him with my useless and worthless demands? Because of me he met with an accident and all because of my stupidity. And what’s worse I can’t speak about what I am going through right now and see the heights of my stupidity that I write about it in my blog which anyone can read and even laugh at. But what the hell, I give a damn right now to anyone else. You won’t believe what the hell is going on right my mind? It’s happening to us time and again. These Tuesdays, I don’t know what is wrong with the day. Last week that and today this. Rubbish, idiotic and I feel like running away now. What is going on with me even?
I went to college and believe me I was shaking all through the day, didn’t know how to express myself properly and how well to react to situations? I wanted to laugh but then there wasn’t a smile in my face and when people were making me smile I so badly wanted to cry. Life is all messed up and fucked up right now. I wish my Guardian Angel gets well soon, and very soon that is. Who so ever is reading it right now please pray so that my Guardian Angel gets well soon, please do so. He is the only person in my life for whom I won’t even hesitate to give up my life. I can’t see him in pain and …. Let it be.
Don’t see any reason to smile at all; don’t know what else to do? Don’t know where else I could have gone? I seriously doubt if anyone else would understand me now but I really don’t want people to even understand me. Don’t have to since I have always been bad to people. What the shit am I thinking about? Right now Guardian Angel is my only concern and he should get well soon, anyhow. Please God for once listen to me. Please.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

What's going on???




How can you always expect me to be nice and happy to you? How can you expect me to smile at you when you don’t even bother to look at me once? How and why? I still wonder. You must realize the fact that I am a normal human being and even I might want you to be nice to me, to try to make me happy or even just smile at me. I can too want you to be by my side and to be yourself with me. But now I am sure that not two men are alike. The way I am composed, I know you are not and will never be. My patience is something you lack in you and I can’t ask things from you the way you can ask from me. And what more, even after realizing how badly things can hurt at times, I never say no. I know that is foolish and stupid of me, but I can’t help and just be myself. The old complicated me who tries her best to see everyone happy and smile even at her own cost. [This here is for no one specific for sure]

There are times when I do wish I had someone like me in my life. Strange but I seriously wanted someone like me to be my side. And here I stupidly realize that I am always there for myself. I don’t have to go to others for anything when I know I am right here, with me. I me myself. The selfish side in me speaks only at times and most of the times I seem to forget about my own self and think about others. But then I have to keep on reminding myself that I have to come back to my own self and that is why I know myself the best and don’t really care what others have said about me for so long. Nor would I like to listen to what they have to say. I know my friends very well and they know this very well that Tripti can do anything for them. But then Tripti isn’t quite sure if anyone is ready to do anything for her. ;-) Maybe that is why she isn’t herself these days but still she likes to be there always with her buddies. They are her strength and the reason for her being. May her buddies get the best of what life has to offer.

So I shall smile and I smile
Cause you never know why.
Strange as it sounds
I may come back around.
But don’t ask me when or why?

Monday, August 18, 2008

)))...))..).

Some times things come to you without asking and that is what I believe to be is blessing. Hadn’t seen Nature Boy in the morning so thought he was absent so didn’t even cared to look for him. But suddenly there he was and I hadn’t even made an effort to go around and look for him. Anyways he acts as a sweet distraction for me in college. I don’t want to talk to him, he can just be his old self but then when he is front of me I smile and that’s more than I could ask for from anyone. So why ruin something so beautiful and so .... Others say I should talk to him because I mention so much about him in this blog of mine but I am absolutely clueless since I know not what to talk to him about and moreover I prefer things as they are right now.
Anyways the Green Goblin came around looking for me and it was surprising and sweet on his part. Never thought he would do this much for me even. I know that through his ways he tries to say a lot of things but is it ever enough for us human beings? We need more from a person and if we don’t get it then life sucks. ;-)
Again I am taking the other way around and forgot about what I was supposed to say. Came back with her and it had been ages since we have had a decent conversation and finally we got a chance today. I was glad since I had missed her for such a long time now. Maybe she is the only one in college and in my life who knows me more than even myself. And that is why she is a Super-Great Friend (S-G F) :-P wish the best for her now and always.
Nothing much except that I will have a super future and I am quite sure of it. Finally some things happened on time and I hope that everything goes well and I seriously wish that this time things actually go damn well.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))…..)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))……………………………………………………………………………………)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).........))))))))))……)))..)).)

Monday, August 11, 2008

Don't know how and why??

I did see you standing there in front of me
You, the other side of me, a part of me.
Many say you are the ugly part of my being
But you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
You, being one with the truest of Nature
How can you not be a splendid figure?
Those blind men shall ever see through us
Those eyes are so blank for both of us
But you have me for sure and it is true
That I am here always with and within you.




Stupid and strange thoughts are up and back. And strange things are happening as well. Anyways some things will have to be the way they were before and all I have to do is be patient and adjust. The lines above are stupid and will make no sense.
Saw Nature Boy today in college, after 5 days, and that idiot can’t even score a goal. Useless creature he is. He is stupid and dumb as well. Anyways Shilly-Shally actually waved at me, now that’s something totally unexpected from someone like him. Then TP and then Yellow Fellow and all of she’s and he’s.

Anyways the trip was awesome and I am back. Smiling and laughing at the seriously committed trivialities of human beings around me and I, myself am, being seriously trivial just to enjoy life to its fullest. :-)

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Cheers!!!

It was surely unexpected. Things like that happen all the time but can you imagine talking for the first time ever when we know each other for the past 4 years. It is funny indeed that somehow we always fought and I seriously couldn’t stand him at all. Neither inside class nor outside it and even he knows how badly I had behaved because of the whole lot in school. But fortunately we met last day and surprisingly for the first time ever we had a decent conversation. And believe me I loved every bit of it. We both have changed a hell lot. Oh by the way this he is Raisin (that is not his name for sure ;-) ). Anyways Raisin treated me with an ice-cream, the least I could have expected from anyone. He was so polite (I don’t know how?) but there he was being just his own self whom I had personally never seen before and he surely has become more sharp and sensible and a real man. Surely he has by now seen a hell lot more than I have and I wish him all the best in life. But somehow yesterday’s meeting was so unexpected and sudden and yet so sweet. We have never even listened to each other for 5 seconds and yesterday there we were talking and walking together. Silly and surprising, if I tell Nikki about it she will die of laughing that we two have actually had a conversation. But gosh it feels so good talking to old friends, or should I say age-old enemies? Never did we ever had a fight but I being silly back then tried my best to keep Nikki away from him. He knows it all but still he was standing there talking to me and I was feeling so good after such a long time. Old things are surely the best things of life. And moreover I am keen on knowing more about Raisin and maybe he too but I don’t know whether I should bother him so much or not? Anyways it was nice going back to the old days and recalling how silly and funny we all had been. And Raisin has changed so much but still calls me that bad animal name which he knows irritates me a lot but then chalta hai.
Anyways today is Friendship’s Day and all the Friends out there, no matter how close you are to me or how far you all must have gone my best wishes are always with you.

Cheers to LIFE!!!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

So many Stories

The game of Snake and Ladder seems to have come to an end finally. With all the snakes and the ladders used and reused things seem funny the way they will all end in no time. Some one will win and some will have to lose but is everyone ready to accept the truth? To admit that life cannot always be so fair and yet be so fine?
At times everything can get so messed up and the very next moment you realize that life is so beautiful that you would not want it any other way. TP says a lot and does a lot but still I am not ready to accept any of it cause somehow things seem so messed up and yet so simple. My mind is working in so very many directions that I don’t exactly know what else to do with it. And Friendship day is tomorrow and I don’t know whom to celebrate it with. Though A gave me a teddy and P named it BUBALABABOO. Cute name and the bear is all the more cuter. P tried but couldn’t and I insisted but she said she won’t so I couldn’t actually do anything about it. Anyways, sometimes you just have to let things be as they are and see what happens. By the way I love my buddies a lot and they are such sweet hearts, and stay with me and without even knowing me are always there for me and that makes me special and lucky and in a way “BLESSED”. And Jim was a lot happy as finally some things happened the right way. As for TP he was happy and excited and Nik-Nish was happy too and I hope the guys get what they deserve. And as for the sweet gals who bear with me all through the day may they get the best of what life has to offer.
I couldn’t see Nature Boy at all but then there was Shilly-Shally who is next to blah blah types. Rats and Meow had met earlier and had a great time together and will hopefully meet tomorrow, on the Friendship’s Day. About this Rats and Meow I have serious doubts cause I think they will remain friends for life and nothing more than that but even as friends they will do damn well. May they be blessed with happiness.

Why the hell did I just type all that out? I don’t know. Anyways time for some rubbish nonsensical talks…
Once upon a time there was an Ugly Beast that was hated by all except one, the Little Mouse who thought that the Ugly Beast can always save it from the Evil Vultures that hovered over the tower and waited for the Little Mouse prey to come out in order to pounce at it and eat it. But one day the local residents of the Far-above Town thought that the Ugly Beast eats a lot of their trees and harms the economy of the town. And so they decided to kill the Ugly Beast. The Little Mouse came to know about it and fearing that the vultures will kill him after the Ugly Beast dies he fled away from the tower. As for the Ugly Beast, even though it was ugly it loved the tower and the Little Mouse and the local residents of the Far-above Town. It had done a lot for all of them and things which no one else could have done for anyone. But today the Ugly Beast was unable to get up and breathe in the air. It was chilling cold today and the tears were making it hard for him to decipher between the residents and the Evil Vultures. He was dying and was in peace as he knew he loved them all and will love them forever. As for the Little Mouse he went to live with a local resident fearing he would be killed. The Evil Vultures hovered above the tower and the Far-away Town’s economy was back to normal but still there were things which were never the same again. The beautiful town was in ruins after being attacked by the neighboring Lovedale town. And what happens next no one knows.

Would never make sense as it is all nonsense.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Great times...


Finally had a great time in Nicco Park and needed the break badly. And even got hurt in the water shoot when I was trying my best not to get wet anymore though we all got wet for lots of time and stopped counting even. Had a great time for sure.

Then the black clouds seem to crowd upon me as always and I pray so that I get wet and the others stay dry, safe and warm when they don't even deserve to be out with me and I get wet only because of them. Anyways. Good memories should be cherished as long as possible

Some stupid lines by me:

"Kuch nahi kar peoge jaan ke hume

Jahan na badal paoge jaan ke hume

Hum kyun or kaise hai ye kya jaano?

Jaan ke bhi to naa jaan paoge hume"